Friday, September 17, 2010

Just because I am a woman doesn't mean I am Martha Stewart

Seriously! Personally I would like to kick Martha Stewart's ass for being herself. For making people think that we should all be like her.
Hold down a job. Make our own wrapping paper. Cook like a dream. Have a perfect house.
Hello!!!! I am a real girl not a machine.
I don't have servants. I don't have the money she has. I AM NOT PERFECT.
I don't want to do this like my newest woman's day magazine wants me to.....

First off I hate candy corns. Secondly who the hell has time to glue all those nasty things into a wreath.
And the things they want me to make for fall. Come on! Seriously WTF

That looks fun to make right? Sure, let me run out and buy myself a pumpkin. NOT
My table will never look like this.

And because it will never look like that in some peoples eyes I will have failed at being a woman.
My food will never look like this.

or this

But you know what? It may not be pretty but it is going to taste damn good.
My house will never look like this....

But it is a home. A home where you aren't scared to put your feet up or set a glass down or hell even walk across the carpet.
This doesn't mean I have failed as a woman. It doesn't mean I am not perfect as I am. (far from perfect but that is a whole other post lol)
I am not Martha Stewart. I will never be Martha Stewart. My magazines will not turn me into her either. I am a woman who is unique, quirky and a little off. So I can't grab some leaves and a pumpkin and whip out a centerpiece. I don't want to. I would rather read a good horror novel!


  1. This cracked me up!!!! I CANNOT stand Martha Stewart either. Never have. And I absolutely cannot believe she's got her stamp on stuff at PETCO now!!! Martha Stewart bed for dogs and cats. MS dishes and accessories for your pets. What next?!

    I wonder what rubbed you the wrong way to write this post. Boyfriend say something?

  2. Actually it was a magazine article...ok about 4 of them in the new Woman's Day magazine I got right before I wrote that.
    Those people are crazy if they think I can keep my sanity right now AND be the perfect little homemaker also. GAH

  3. You are a perfect you. I don't think I can walk across your carpet, though. *snicker*

  4. I would never want to be like Martha Stewart. She kinda scares me. It's like, no Martha, I don't want to glue rocks to make a frame. I'll pass.

  5. You don't like Candy Corn? How is that possible?!?