Thursday, February 25, 2010

Dear alien who has inhabited my body


Get the hell out.
Seriously you are freaking me out.

I haven't been myself lately. In fact I can't stand myself right now. It is like watching someone on tv who you hate and not being able to change the channel.

I am thinking to much.

I have this overwhelming urge to escape. To just go and keep on going. To be alone.
Problem is I am pretty well trapped right now not having a job. And I normally don't feel so antsy. I don't normally want to escape but man the feeling has been growing like mad to the point of my skin itching.
I am not sure if I am just frustrated at everything. At the job hunt, the money worries, the boredom of being home every day, the never ending housework, the lack of mental support, the cats, the dogs, the honey, life in general.
I just feel off. I am snappy. Bitchy and just plain out of sorts. Kind of like you need a vacation but isn't that what I am on? One big old extended vacation?
I am tired of cleaning the bathroom only to be asked why I didn't sweep the living room. I am tired of feeling like the household help. I know I am at home and I know that should be my job right now. But damn it if I don't feel like pulling my freaking hair out and screaming at the top of my lungs I AM DONE!
I'm blaming it on the alien.
Or some kind of phase.
Or maybe I am just plain losing it a little here.
I am hoping this feeling of.... of....frustration...no..helplessness....no... wrongness just goes away. I find myself hoping that a job will cure it. If I ever get a damn job.
I AM DONE. UGH.
It is like every insecurity I have ever had is rearing it's ugly little head.
I actually laid in bed last night trying to determine if I would be able to make it on my own. If I would be able to be an "adult" and take care of myself.
When did I become so...scared.
I used to be the type of girl who on the spur of the moment would do what I wanted. Damn the consequences.
Now I feel timid. What happened to me?

Anywhoooooooooooo.... in other news lol
I busted my dog yesterday with a possum in her mouth. A dead possum but still it was A DEAD POSSUM!!! EEEWWWWWWW
I live in a very large city. So it was kind of a shock.
And the longer I looked at the thing the more I realized it was just a baby and then I started feeling sorry for the little dead guy. Sigh.

Last weekend I went house shopping with my buddy Sazy. Her mom is moving out here from out of state. (HA I almost wrote outer space) Sazy had a list of homes under 80 thousand dollars. I had no idea that you could get a house between 50 and 80 thousand dollars in California. And I was doubly shocked to find out they NICE houses. Pretty houses. Houses that were built after 1995 and have 3 bedrooms. There were older and newer homes and most of them were wonderful. There was one where the people who left it obviously were pissed off so they did a ton of damage from ripped out wall fixtures to a burn on the kitchen floor.
We drove all over the central valley and had a blast sneaking into backyards to look in windows. The scenery was stunning.
Then we stopped for dinner on the way home and had the worst meal of either of our lives. Seriously. HORRIBLE! But I do have to add that day to one of my best days ever list.
But then again I always have fun with Sazy.

Enough for today.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

tick tick tick

Geez I am having one of those days where I look down and a hour has gone by. I am blaming it on being garbage day. You know the drill, gotta go to the store, empty this, clean that. UGH
But time is flying so fast I am not sure that I have blogging time before the honey gets home.
BUT!!!

I had to come tell you this. I got a phone call today. From a place that may be interested in giving me a job!!!
It was just a preliminary call where they find ask you a few questions then decide if they are going to pass your resume along to the owner or not.
She told me that I could expect a call from him in either a week or two weeks.
Now I am not going to hold my breath here.

BUT HOT DAMN my phone actually rang and it wasn't the Red Cross wanting me to donate blood or the honey asking me what I am cooking for dinner.
It is the glimmer of hope that maybe someone might look at my resume and maybe just maybe someday I might actually get a job again.

WOO FREAKING HOO!!

I needed that. I seriously was getting into the why freaking bother no one is looking at these resumes attitude.

Deep breath......
And lady who called me....Cindy... even if you don't pass my resume to the boss thank you for calling. I really needed that shot in the arm!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Religion turned bad

I had another post all planned today about my weekend with my buddy. But I was visiting a horror board I belong to and we all got to talking memories about religion. The good, The bad and the horrible. After posting my horrible memory I decided to share it here. And save the great fun weekend for tomorrow.

Before the current honey I lived with a guy named Rob. We were young and dumb and trying to pretty much find out who we were.
Rob found religion.
Now don't get me wrong. I have beliefs. I was raised pretty much by my grandmother who took me almost every Sunday to a different church so I could see the different styles and find my own opinions. Something I am very thankful for.

But back to the story.
I knew what I believed. Rob just found what he believed.
He went.... crazy. Not quite the word I am looking for but he went from a normal guy to a religious nut.
That doesn't seem like the right word either but it fits.

Both of us had rented out an apartment together. We did everything we thought we were supposed to do to be adults. Pool the money in one account to pay the bills. Buy furniture from second hand stores.
We were playing house for the first time.

Then came the religion.
It started out pretty calmly. He wanted to have/go to bible studies. Not a problem for me. I didn't mind learning.
Where he came up with the group so dang fast I will never know but a few months went by and the studies weren't horrible. They weren't my cup of tea but they weren't horrible.

Then came the radio shows. No more regular music just preaching. Then came the tv Evangelists. That was the beginning of the end for us.

He decided that sex was no longer an option for us. We were sinning.
I figured it would pass. After all he was a healthy man. Three months later it hadn't changed.

Then came the day I went to get groceries. The joint account was declined. Now it was right before the first of the month and there should have been all the money we put in for rent, groceries and bills in there. I figured it was a mistake and paid out of my own "fun" fund.
The rent bounced. The bills bounced. Hell everything bounced including Rob.
I found myself alone in a apartment with no money and no roommate. Owing tons of back money.
Turns out he took all of the cash we had and donated it to the church. Since I was the source of his sins he figured that was the best way to make up for it. So he donated all the money we had saved for bills and other stuff and moved back in with his parents leaving me with a mountain of bills and a horrible taste in my mouth.

I now live with a man who doesn't know religion. In fact as much as I would like him to.... if he mentions interest I get scared.
I no longer trust overtly religious people.

It was pretty strange watching a man go from "normal" to "fanatic" in so short a time span. To change from the person I knew into a stranger I didn't. It scares me to this day how fanatical some people can get. The things they will do for their religion. It is no wonder they burned people at the stake. Or let poor innocent girls be sexually tortured as they were "checked for devil spots". It is no wonder so many wars have started over religion.
When a person becomes a fanatic there is no talking to them. What they believe is right and what ever you say is the buzzing of a mosquito. And it can happen to the most normal person there is!

I still believe in God. I still believe in good. But I can also see the evil in religion.

Friday, February 19, 2010

I think the olympics are trying to kill me

See I can't seem to not watch them. But the dang thing goes on until midnight. Why the heck can't they start it earlier here on the West coast? Why do I have to watch tape delayed Olympics? Don't they know I need sleep too.
But no!
I find myself hooked. Snowboarding! Skiing! Figure skating! Speed Skating! MUST WATCH.
And half of these things I wouldn't watch on normal tv if you paid me. Yet there I sit cheering on team USA as they ride a half pipe doing tricks I have no idea if they are good or not. It is a strange thing.
Then in the morning I drag myself out of bed groaning from my lack of sleep.
I even tried taping it two days from 10pm on. But you know what that was 4 hours of Olympics that I had to watch during the daytime and I don't watch tv during the daytime so that was 4 more night hours. Not a good thing.
So the Olympics is trying to kill me and they are doing a pretty damn good job of it.
Last night what I wanted to watch was the men's figure skating. I figured I would watch that and be done with it. EXCEPT here on the west coast it started at 10pm.
HELLO that is when I go to bed dang it. So I taped it. Now I have to watch another 2 extra hours of Olympics. UGH!!
And can someone please explain to my why the dang Olympics make me cry? Standing on the podium as they get their medals. boo hoo. Winning something they didn't realise they could win. boo hoo. Falling and ruining their dream. boo hoo. UGH lol.

I have walked twice in the last week. That is not good. I was right about my motivation disappearing. But I got myself on that treadmill and walked and hated it. I have to figure out how to re motivate myself. And I will. I have too.

I still don't have a job. In fact I am just amazed at the job postings out there. Four years of college for a receptionist position that pays ten bucks an hour. Are they on crack? 90% of all job postings in the last week expect you to know two or three languages too. Sorry I only speak English. It is incredibly frustrating and I can feel myself giving up on the hunt. I cannot do that. The only way to get a job is to hunt. But I just feel like I am wasting my time for something that isn't going to happen. Sigh......

Can someone please explain to me how this has happened. I have a cat that sleeps on my pillow. She has done that since she was a kitten. Except it has become some kind of fight now. First she started taking more and more of my pillow. I would wake up with my head on a tiny corner with her sprawled across the whole thing. Now she gets on the pillow then blatantly puts her leg on the top of my head. She is using my head as a damn foot rest. I wake up with furry feet on my forehead or hell once even on my nose. I am sure I can hear her laughing at me.
And please please please please stop following me everywhere. OMG this is driving me insane. And please please please stop meowing at the top of your lungs when you walk into the room I am in. Trust me I know you are there. I see you. You freaking follow me everywhere every day. I don't need you to announce your presence. I SEE YOU. ARGHHHHHHHHH

ahem....

Thursday, February 18, 2010

The post where I spew my guts out

You know PMS is a evil taskmaster. In fact PMS is flat out a bitch.
For the last few days I have been walking around with tight shoulders and a chip the size of a mountain on one of them.
It is funny how things bother you that wouldn't normally bother you. In fact I have even avoided this blog. So I decided rather then explode at some random moment accidentally killing someone I am going to spew some guts out and hopefully remove the building tension.
So ready for some random bitching?
*hands out protective gear

Dear clothing makers,
Here I am in the store to buy some pants. I need pants since my ass is getting fatter. I try on pair number one is let's say size..D. They fit good but are about 25 inches to long since I am short as shit. I walk out into the maze of clothes and pick up about 5 pairs of size D pants in different brands and styles and walk back into the dressing room.
Hmmm why doesn't this pair of pants go over my leg? Must be the wrong size? No it says size D. Must be a fluke.
Holy crap this pair is huge. No... says size D. What the fuck.
Oh look this one outlines my crotch. Might as well make it neon orange and get it over with.
Now explain to me this. Why 5 pairs of the same size pants do not fit me the same?
Get your shit together people and make sizes match.
OH and I loved this... go to the more expensive store and the sizes are smaller so a size C is actually a size D. They do that to boost peoples egos. So for more money you can pretend you are a size smaller. Stupid!
This just cements the fact that I HATE clothes shopping.



Dear attached to your phone,
I see you all the time. Sitting at a table with friends. Or walking with a buddy. Or at a event. You sit there with human people and ignore them because you are to busy playing with your phone. You may be talking to your aunt Mabel or your buddy Steve but what about the people you are with. Do you realize that you are ignoring them. That you are in essence saying this person or game on the phone is more important then me bonding with you. You don't matter to me as much as they do. It blows me away. Thank god I don't have friends like you.
And you chatty people who talk on the telephone when a human is helping you at Starbucks, the grocery store, the post office...Get the fuck off the phone until you are through the line. That checker in front of you is not your servant. That is a real life honest to god person in front of you and you are a rude asshole.

Dear nice Witness ladies,
I know you come to my house every Wednesday. I take the few minutes to talk to you because I am nice like that. But let me tell you right now... and I have.. I do not follow your beliefs.
When you tell me there is nothing after death, that you are dead, gone, nothing... I don't believe that. When you tell me that I don't have a soul.... that soul means something completely different, I don't believe that either. When you tell me that every ghost is a evil being, I don't believe that.
You are not going to change my mind. I am 42 years old and know what I believe. I will listen to you and challenge you to prove to me what you believe but my mind... my mind is my own. I will decide what beliefs I have. Not a ten minute talk at the door. Not that little book you want to read. Not those magazines you give me.
I have lived my life. I know what I believe. I know who I am. The bible is interpreted differently by you. Hell by pretty much every religion.
I will talk to you but don't expect me to "convert". Don't expect me to not challenge you. Don't expect me to say "I don't believe that in the least". I am NOT afraid to voice my thoughts. I am not about to tip toe around you. You came to my door expect me to be who I am.
Hope I don't scare you.

Dear skinny friend,
Seriously I know you are skinny. I don't need to hear you spout off about how you finally fit into size A- pants. Good for you. Now shut up about it. The first time is fine the second, third, one thousandth time not so much. Do you see my body? Do you not care about my feelings?
And when you start whining about how fat you are, how you have horrible body image, how you look like a pear, how you can't find pants, how you gained *gasp* a pound. It makes me want to hit you. It just shows me out out of touch with reality you are.
You are so stuck on yourself that you forget about other people.
You are so proud of your body that you don't realize that you put other people down.
It is all about you and nobody else but you.
A perfect body does not make a perfect person. I would rather have every dimple and roll then act like you do. I would rather make someone feel good about them self then make them feel like shit.
Sometimes your holier then thou attitude makes me sick.
Big fucking deal you are skinny. That doesn't define you as you seem to think it does. It doesn't make you perfect. It doesn't make you better then me or anyone else as you seem to think it does.
I would rather be known for my kindness then my pants size.

Dear celebrity gossip people,
I love to read gossip. I think it is normal for regular people to want to know how the other half lives. But you know what... I am tired of a few things. So... Shut the fuck up about the couple who had all those children... is it 9? They are divorcing.. crap what is their names...
Do you honestly expect me to believe that Brad and Angelina are having fights about Jennifer? I am so sick to death hearing about them. They are divorced. Obviously Brad and Angelina and their million kids are happy so shut the fuck up about the whole triangle that doesn't exist.
And seriously Michael Jackson is dead. Quit talking about him.
Oh and Perez Hilton... get the hell over yourself. You are gay. Woooooo OMG that must be so fucking hard on you. Leave other people alone. If they want to come out they will. Stop pushing people to come out. You are a disgrace. You actually make me kind of ill. I think you do more damage to gay rights then any other person on the planet. Shut the hell up.


Dear man I live with,
Seriously dude when did you decide I was the help? I realize I don't have a job but coming home every day and asking me what I did gets annoying. You aren't asking me how my day was or where I went, you are asking me what cleaning I did. Let me tell you something right now. That makes me want to not clean anything. That whole attitude pisses me off.
And when I clean the living room, kitchen, bedroom and computer room DO NOT ask me why I didn't clean the bathroom today. Fuck you.
How about saying "Wow honey the house looks good." This kind of comment will make me want to clean.
But no... nitpick nitpick nitpick.
It makes me want to hit you on the head with the skillet when you are sleeping. ahhhh blessed quiet.
Do not tell me that we are fat and should start exercising. Why because you are not going to start. You want me to start. Well you know what if I do start and yes I have, it has nothing to do with you. Pretty much every time you say that by the way I hear your real statement. That real comment that you think you are hiding. That I am fat and should work on it.
*pats his big belly
I am not the only one in that boat.
And then you say we should go on a diet, yet if I cook diet food you get pissed off. You must really be serious right?
UGH.

Dear Lost,
Get the hell on with it. Oooooo we are going to answer every question. Bull shit. We are three episodes in and we have more questions, a new group of people and new mysteries. What in the fuck. UGH.


Wow... I think I should shut up now lol

Friday, February 12, 2010

No walking today either

I am pretty damn sure that I bruised my heel. I am still limping today. If I limp tomorrow I am going to make a doctor appointment. This is incredibly frustrating to me. I want to walk but walking in pain seems stupid.
I look like a goon limping around. Just getting up in the morning killed me. I had to hold on to the wall just to make it to the restroom. It is better if I walk on the ball of my foot but really do I want to do that all day long? Putting on my shoe puts pressure right on the spot that hurts and is fire red. Not a good combo.

The honey is off for the next three days. That means limited internet for me. Which sucks. Cause I am in love with the internet you know.
*hugs monitor*

We don't do anything on a holiday weekend. We tend to go places the weekend before or the weekend after. There is no traffic then.

I may end up going and getting my grandmother next week. Bring her down here for a visit. Next month she has cataract surgery so I may need to go up and stay with her a few days then.

Let me share a funny with you that happened yesterday morning. I shared it with my Lost board buddies but figured I would share it here too.
After being awake for so damn long I crawled back in bed a little while before the honey had to get up. (Remember I was up at 4am with foot pain?) I must have fallen asleep right when he got up because I remember dreaming that I touched something and my hair went all static like this.

I saw myself in a mirror and started cracking up.
The honey woke me up and asked me what I was laughing at. (I don't think he realized I was asleep)
I remember saying Fuzzy hair then turning back over.

I was laughing in my sleep. I didn't know I could laugh in my sleep!

Well I have to go to the store and this post was all over the place anyway lol

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Motivation is a funny thing

I have been walking since Monday. For 30 minutes or a little over a mile and a quarter. It has actually been fun.
Except last night at 4am I woke up feeling like my foot was on fire. It was excruciating. The area between the bottom of my foot and my ankle directly on the back of my foot hurt like a bitch. I ended up getting out of bed to take some asprin and not being able to sleep for almost two hours.
Today it hurts to walk.
The problem is I want to walk. I don't want to lose the motivation that I have. Hell how often do we actually get motivation to exercise?
But I just can't do it. It hurts to freaking bad and I don't want to make it worse. So I gave myself the day off. And I feel horrible. It sucks that I had to do this.
Stupid foot didn't hurt when I went to bed. UGH.
I hope the motivation doesn't go away.

The other motivation problem I am having is the job hunt. I have looked for a job every day for over five months with no results. It makes it very hard to even want to look. I have to force myself lately.
I have this whole why bother nothing is going to come of it mind frame which isn't good. But I need a job. But I just feel tired.
I have lost all motivation to search. I haven't stopped searching but there is no motivation what so ever in my body. I know I need money. I know I need a job. I know the only way to get a job is to search but.... it just plain feels like I am wasting my time. Sigh.

The house is getting cleaner though!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Poor Guy :(

Television is a funny thing. You watch shows and sometimes get really involved.

One of the shows I have watched since the very beginning back in 2005 is Deadliest Catch on the Discovery Channel.
This is a series about crab fishermen. I have no idea how in the hell I started watching this show since ummm to be honest... why the hell would I watch fishing on tv.
But I did watch it. And I became seriously 100% hooked.

It wasn't just guys out crabbing. You actually got to know them through the show. You got to know their families. Their personalities. Their loyalties to each other. In a strange sense they became family. After watching for 5 years you feel you know them.
You see them happy, sad, angry. You begin to see them as the people they are.
The show follows a group of captains and their crews as they go out for crab.
Meet the captains....

From right to left is Keith Colburn, Phil Harris, Andy then Jonathan Hillstrand (brothers) and Sig Hansen.
They have thrown in a few new ones over the years but that is the core group.
One of the ships is called the Cornelia Marie. It's captain is Phil Harris.
This is his crew.

The two guys on the right are his sons. I have watched them grow up over the past 5 years.
Last night Phil Harris died.

I didn't know until this morning when I signed onto the net.

I am not ashamed to say I cried.

He was only 53 years old.

Now I have never met this man before. In my lifetime I would probably never meet him. But I feel like I have lost someone close to me. I actually feel as though I am grieving for him and his family.
I watched/read everything I could when he first had a stroke. I worried about him. I worried about his boys.
Then I read that he was doing better. I was so happy. This was two days ago. So finding out he died after thinking he was healing was a freaking SHOCK.

Rest in Peace Phil. Someone you have never met misses you.


Monday, February 8, 2010

My new hair and more...

So as you can probably tell I am going through some kind of "change" lol.
Last week on Tuesday I decided that today I was going to start walking for 30 minutes a day either on the treadmill or outside. The treadmill keeps track and I did pay for the damn thing a thousand years ago so using it would probably be good right?
I wrote Start walking with a smiley face on the calendar on the 8th by the computer. Then I ignored it.
On Friday my buddy Sazy and I went window shopping in a quaint little down town by our city. We ended up at a museum and were pretty much kicked out by children. That sucked but the day was wonderful and I completely enjoyed myself.
Sazy took a picture of my new hair to share with you guys.


After she posted this picture for me on a board I go to every day I actually stopped and thought OH HELL NO.
I don't see that girl in the mirror.
In fact I don't think I see what other people see when they look at that picture.
Let me tell you the first thing I noticed. Double chin. Looks like shit.
Hair is pretty messy... although we had been walking around outside for a few hours so that is to be expected.
Hair is much lighter then it looks to me in the mirror.
WHAT in the hell is wrong with my comfy sweater. You can see the shoulders go half way down my arm which you can see is smaller then the sweater actually shows.
I just think that picture makes me look like shit. Plain and simple.
And why the hell do I have such big damn gums UGH
Anywhooo... after seeing that picture I realized that chin needed to go. Then I remembered that I wrote down start walking.
So I did. Today. For 30 minutes. YAY ME!
I have also decided that I am going to do one room a day in my house. Super clean. Super clean one week... standard clean the next week. Then super clean then standard clean. Since I have more rooms then the week it will need to be scheduled.
Yup, for some damn reason I am making a schedule. I need to remember to add weeding the backyard to that schedule....
The way I figure it. I will get the whole thing perfectly flowing. Everything will be falling exactly the way I want it and then I will get a job that will screw everything up again LOL



Quick bitch here.... I have wood floors through the whole house. Then WHY!!!! Does the cat hack up her stupid hairballs anywhere but the wood floor? The couch, throw rugs, bed, dog toy... anywhere but the floor where it would be easy to clean. Stupid CAT!!


One more little bitch.... I put all the blogs I read into the favorite bar of my computer instead of hitting the follow button. I just find it easier to go down a list on the computer then go post to post in the follow thingy. Don't judge LMAO!!!
Anywhoooo... This weekend I had time to go read blogs and post a bunch of comments. So I sit down at my computer.. hit favorites and nothing. NOTHING but cabellas.
WTF!!!
I hit it again because being kind of computer stupid I figured it just may have been my fault. Nothing. Just that stupid green cabellas icon.
Cabellas is NOT my favorite thing. I could care less about it.
So the following took place.
me.... Honey.. um did you delete anything off the computer.
him... no.
me.. Ummm honey I had a bunch of favorites (trying not to freak out) and they are all gone.
him... I didn't delete your stuff. I had a bunch of stupid stuff show up on my favorites so I deleted them and added Cabellas.
Me (steaming and watery eyes).. the favorites go on both home pages honey. You deleted my stuff.
Him.... no I didn't. I deleted the stupid stuff I didn't put on mine.
Me... ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH (taking deep breaths and wondering how the hell I was going to find everyone again)

I explained it to him in 2 year old terms and pretty much laid down the law that he will NOT ever in this lifetime do that again.
Then I deleted his Cabella's.
I crossed my fingers that he wasn't thorough. I went to the recycle bin and there all your blogs were. I was SO FREAKING HAPPY!!
Of course by then I no longer had time to read.. but I will today after going to the store lol.

Friday, February 5, 2010

And the real me emerges

I just don't know what the hell is going on with me.

Yesterday I went and bought some brown hair dye. I have been a "blond" for who knows how many years now. A dark blond but still a blond. After the hair cut I had this overwhelming urge to go dark. So yesterday I must have spent 20 minutes in the dye section of the store picking up box after box of hair dye and getting confused.
I finally decided on this box.

It wasn't as dark as I wanted to go but I thought that going darker would freak me out so this was my choice.
I sat last night deciding if I really wanted to do it.
This morning I did.
When I got out of the shower my hair looked almost black which was a big shock.
But then I dried it. And you know what? Everything in my body went awww yes.
This is right. This is me. This is better.
I felt like a butterfly that just crawled out and dried off.
I have to tell you that it is a strange feeling to have. To feel like by changing my hair color I have become more me. How do you become more of yourself?
My buddy will be taking a picture for me to post later by the way.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Well that was weird

No I am not talking about Lost although I must say that WAS WEIRD lol.

I have been feeding my buddies kitties while she is out of town. I drive over for about a half an hour to a hour and just play with them so they don't get to lonely being by themselves. They have been good kitties with just one bad day where it looks like they threw a party and trashed the place. She comes home today and I bet they are going to be so damn excited to see her.

So today I was driving home from the kitty love fest and I found myself turning the car the wrong direction from home. The next thing I knew I was inside Supercuts getting a "trim". That trim took off about 8 inches of hair. EIGHT. And I asked for it.
Me! The don't take more then a half a inch off or I will die girl.
Just this morning as I got out of the shower my hair touched my ass. Now....it is about a inch past my shoulders. Maybe if I stretch it two.
And the funny thing is I have no idea what the hell happened. I didn't plan on a hair cut today. I sure the hell didn't plan on cutting that much off if I ever did get a hair cut. I just found myself sitting in a chair. Asking the lady how much would need to be cut off for it to look really healthy. Her showing me and me saying Do it. And she did. And I wasn't horrified. But still I have no idea how the hell this happened.
It was like I had sunshine fever or something. After all this is one of the first sunny days in what seems like forever.
I caught myself going to buy dye and told myself no. That the haircut lady put goo into my hair and I don't want to end up green or orange. But who knows what tomorrow will bring lol.
I still can't believe I cut my hair off. And that I am not bothered. Why am I not bothered?

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

It's really here!!!

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It seems like I have been waiting forever but tonight is LOST!!!!

Now... Dear all friends and relatives. Starting at around 7:30 tonight until tomorrow do not call. Do not visit. Do not expect me to do any favors. Do not expect me to answer my phone. I will be getting ready to watch Lost.

Dear Honey..... Do not talk to me during Lost or I may have to smack you. If you can't remember why Ben is covered in blood you can wait until a commercial for me to explain it to you.

Dear Dogs.... Yes that big chewy bone is yours to eat in the living room... and yes I will give it to you about 3 minutes before Lost starts.

Dear Cats.... DO not meow. Do not walk up my chest for pets. Go in the living room with the dogs lol


It's funny how totally into this I am. On Facebook we have been doing lost quotes and changing our avatar to lost people. I never realized until this week how many of my Facebook friends are people who I have never met in person but have known now for almost six years online.

Dear creators of Lost.... This can be known as the best series on tv ever... don't screw this up. Answers that make sense please!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Stupid computer

Want to find out just how addicted you are to the computer? Have your internet service go wonky. It started on Wednesday. That quick flash to red on the high speed modem that means you are not connected. It just happened for a few seconds. But Thursday and Friday? Total red for most of the day.
It would allow me to sign into the net. Look at two to three things and then shut off. That meant I had to completely shut down the whole system and reboot up again. Only to have it happen over and over again. I would be able for example to sign into Facebook, read a few posts, maybe play a game for 1 minute before it turned off. I actually tried to blog twice but after typing for a few minutes it would shut off and not save it to draft. I got so frustrated that I actually ignored the computer and started on that stupid safe cover I was suppose to make months ago.
By the way when making something inside out.... the door will be on the wrong side when you turn it right side out. Live and learn I guess.
Anyway on Friday I called the internet people to get the problem fixed. I was like a junkie missing out on everything. My blog, Your blogs, Facebook and my Lost buddies. They fixed it thank goodness!!
Then of course the honey didn't work this weekend which meant he was home and wanted to go do "chores" so no internet really on Saturday. Sunday he wanted to do cleaning which meant little internet.
So today I am hugging my monitor!

I have an internet addiction. I think it has grown worse as I have been off work. After all this little box is my outside world right now. *snort.

I had lots of time to listen to my ipod over the last couple days. I have decided there are some concerts I am going to keep my eye out for. Things I need to go see.
My buddy Sazy and I went to see Green Day all ready but I really have a desire to go see them again. There was an energy that was there that made me feel old LMAO! While at the same time I felt alive as I haven't in a long time.


The next guy I want to see turns me into a literal fan girl. I had no idea how much of a fan girl I actually was until I went with Sazy and she told me to go up and get his autograph during that section of the concert. I could have passed out and couldn't do it LMAO!!
He is one of my most favorite performers in the world. I grew up with his music. In fact I would probably marry him if I could.... and he was a little younger lol

This guys voice flows right through me. I love Willie.

And the last one I have a hankering to see is Tom Petty for some reason.

Growing up I thought he was beautiful. And he has another one of those velvet voices.

And just to freak you all out *snort I wouldn't mind going and seeing this....

weird guy or not I freaking LOVE his voice. I think Sazy is to scared to go with me should he come LMAO!! And yes... I even love the screaming...in fact I think that is what really rocks my boat when it comes to him.

And on that note I gotta get my farming done on farmville LMAO!!