Friday, October 29, 2010

No news yet and other random crap

Well I haven't heard anything yet about the job. But they did say it would be one to two weeks. It is so hard to find a balance between hope and what tends to be reality lately.
You don't want to get your hopes up to far because after falling so many times it is not a good idea. So I just wait. With a little hope. Not to much but a little.

So my boobs are at the point where just putting on a bra hurts right? I go to Costco and they have those giant carts where the handle is exactly at boob height. I didn't see the 2x4 sticking out and the cart hit it and stopped causing me to smash my boobs on the handle. I actually cried four tears before I was able to get myself under control. It really sucked.

I had an absolute meltdown last night. It was a combo money/stress/no job/boo hoo pity party which I had absolutely no idea was going to happen. One minute I was chatting all la la la la and then my voice cracked and tears spit out my eyes. I threw my hand over my mouth pretty much in horror and embarrassment. Seriously I had no idea I was about to turn into some blubbering baby.
I have this fear of never finding a job, running out of money and having to be dependent on the honey. I DO NOT want that to happen. It is my own personal issue but there it is.
Growing up as a child I had to depend on others. Government cheese, welfare, food stamps and handouts. (although the giant blocks of cheese were damn yummy.... but then again maybe I was just hungry LMAO) As I got older I promised myself I would never ever be in that position again. I know it is not exactly the same thing but in my head it kind of feels like it. I don't want to be a charity case!!

My house is decorated totally Halloweeny. <--not a word and I don't care lol
I got giant spiders on the fence. Tombstones on the lawn with skeleton pieces. Stuff stuck on the windows. When Sazy comes over to watch Ghost Hunters live on Halloween I will have her take a picture for you guys.

Here is something that scares the crap out of me every time I hear it.

It makes the hair stand up on my neck and completely just changes my view of the world around me. I don't know what it is about that piece of music but it makes me shaky.

And here is my favorite horror movie "monster" of all time.

He had a way of getting under my skin.

Well I have to go make some yummy meatballs and then read some blogs I am behind on. Talk to you all later

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Interview went well

So I got in there early (I like to arrive 10 minutes early) and they took me right in. After all the chatting and discussing of the job and the duties all I could think was my god it is like they took everything I like to do and turned it into my dream job. I mean seriously the job sounds awsome. Everything they want I can do. Everything they needed I was trained in. It was like a neon sign blinked Jody's Job Jody's job.
Now we can only hope the other 9 people in the first round of interviews suck and they call me back for a second interview within the next two weeks.

Yes they are interviewing a minimum of 10 people in the first round. Sigh

I will be bummed if I don't at least get a second interview lol

Monday, October 25, 2010

Today is my interview

This morning I got a call from the place I am interviewing at to verify my interview and probably completely blew it but I told her I had to admit something completely embarrassing and that I looked everywhere and couldn't find the ad.

So she sent it to me. ummm... WTF was I thinking. I don't have quite a bit of these skills.
Office manager/ Bookkeeper needed for small office in Morgan Hill.
Ideal candidate will have 3-5 years of bookkeeping & customer service experience. Requires the skill to multi-task, prioritize and work independently. Excellent verbal and written communication skills are a must. Advanced knowledge of Microsoft Office applications and Quickbooks are necessary. Intermediate level IT skills helpful for managing computer hardware & software including high end printers and networked environment. Must be fast learner with the ability to handle all aspects of office management from clerical /receptionist duties to Accounts Payable and Receivables including supporting Company Executives with project based work with minimal direction or supervision.
Pay depending on experience, no benefits available at this time.

Ok so I have a bit of the stuff. Just no IT and very light quickbooks. When I say I have no IT I mean it. I can plug something in and maybe add software to it but that is the extent of my IT knowledge LOL. Quickbooks I have used maybe twice in my life. It is a fairly easy system that I know I could learn incredibly quickly but still. WTF was I thinking!!
But at least I am not going in blind anymore!
And hopefully they won't mind that I had to ask what the job was. Everything else is cake. I can do it.
So instead of being nervous that I don't have any idea what I am going to an interview for I am nervous about the lack of skills I have for two portions of the job.
Anywhooooo I go today at 4pm. Wish me luck.....

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Interview on Monday

First off... WOOT!!!!

I am super excited that I finally have a interview. After setting up the time (four), getting the company name and phone number we got off the phone.

Now the problem.....
She told me that I sent her my resume from Craigslist. Which is fine I have sent what seems like millions... but there in lies the problem.
I have sent in a million. I looked all over craigslist for the one ad it could have been. I can't find it.

That means I have no idea what I applied for. I have no idea if it is part time or full time. I have no idea what the hell I am going to be doing. I have to go to this interview fully blind.


I am having a bit of panic over this.
I hope I can pull this off. I don't know how long ago I sent in the resume. Was it days? Weeks? a month ago?
Obviously I must have the skills they are looking for but my skills are so wide and varied that that doesn't give me a single clue as to what the job is for.

Deep breath..... whew....

Anywhoooooo...I have to go put up some tombstones outside :)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The chainsaw versus the telephone/internet line

Can you guess which one won?
The honey got the great idea to trim the outside tree. We do it once a year. Trim that sucker down to the nubs. I guess it is to keep it smaller. And it helps with the hundred thousand leaves it drops. Well this year he had bought a brand spanking new chainsaw on a stick.
You should have seen him all happy outside. No ladder. Just chopping away at the limbs as I stacked them up.
I watched the wire cut in half. Part of it heading back to the pole and the other heading to the house.
"Um.... what was that wire for?"
"Don't worry about it."
"No really. What was that wire for? Am I going to be electrocuted standing here on the wet grass?"
"It was the phone/internet line. No big deal and no you won't be electrocuted."
"Ok good."
I grabbed another set of branches to move in the pile and then it hit me. I don't have the internet anymore.
"Um.... can you fix that?"
"No, you are going to have to call to get it fixed. But I don't want to pay for it so say a branch fell on it."
I turned around to go in the house and call.
"Where in the heck are you going?"
"I am going to go call!"
"You don't need to call right now. We aren't done."

In my head I am thinking oh hell yes I have to call. RIGHT NOW! I don't have internet! How long is it going to take them to fix it. And buddy you are so freaking gonna pay for it to be fixed if it costs something.
But like a good little girl I continued to stack the branches until he decided it was getting to dark to finish.
It was at this point I ran into the house coated in wood chips and crunched up leaves. I sat down at the computer and started to type in the information to get the phone number I needed to fix the internet when I realized I can't use the internet. UGH. So I grabbed the phone book and then grabbed the phone. At which point I remember I can't used the damn phone either!
So I get my cell and call in a repair ticket. I am surprised I didn't whine/cry/yell at them to hurry up and fix me.
Well I now have my internet back. I watched a lot of shows that I had on my dvr during my down time and I read two books LOL
What is new with you?

Friday, October 15, 2010

I have a new member of my family

Meet my new niece Sophia

Isn't she freaking cute!!!
I have to admit to a great giant amount of envy. I wish wish wish I could have had children.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Random Ramblings

Yesterday I lost it a bit as you can tell. It happens. Everything is fine then BAM I lose it. It really rather sucks by the way.
But good came out of it. One of the bloggers I follow and who follows me offered me a bit of help. She offered to look over my resume. I went through a whole range of emotions from being weirded out that someone might think my resume sucked big time to hope that it would help. So off I sent my resume to Aunt of 14
As soon as I hit send my stomach started to hurt. What if she thought my resume was a piece of shit. I had pride in that stupid thing. I worked hard at it.
But I didn't need to worry. She sent me a email back letting me know that it wasn't awful. She even shared with me hers. Then she went above and beyond and actually turned my two page resume into a one page masterpiece. It had everything that I had only better. She had no idea how long and how hard I had tried to make it into one page. Or how I had finally given up on doing it.
I cannot say thank you enough for that. And for the mental boost knowing I hadn't been sending out a piece of crap.
It amazes me how random strangers help each other. I only hope at some point in the future I will come across something I can do to pay it forward.

Are you guys watching the miner rescues? I can't stop watching. It is heartwarming and wonderful. Add in a bit of personal drama like the miner who had a wife and a mistress that had no idea about each other and it has been great tv. I can't imagine how horrible it had been. I can't imagine how excited they must be as they wait for their turn. I can't imagine being in that tiny capsule.
Their lives are going to be so different. I can't imagine going through that and not becoming a different person on the inside. I am so happy for them.

Yesterday I went to the store and picked up some food for two meals. Hot dogs and a enchilada casserole. It turned out to be boiling hot so I decided to cook the hot dogs...... then I got a phone call from the honey.
It went like this.....

Him: what are you making for dinner?
Me: I got hot dogs and mac and cheese. It is hot so I wanted a light cooking day.
him- I don't want that.
me... um ok I also got stuff to make a chicken enchilada casserole would you rather have that?
him- No. How about tuna fish sandwiches.
me. Fine
him- with lettuce and tomato
me- let me check. Nope we don't have any of those.
him... silence
Me.... I already went to the store once today I am not going again.
him- Fine I will just starve then....
Me. OK

I have to admit that conversation pissed me off. And again today he doesn't want either of those. He knows I am on a budget. I explained to him that I can't buy food and not have him eat it. But still he insisted on something else.
I need to have a sit down with him and explain that he no longer has a choice in what I cook. That he can either eat what I made or go get himself something else. I can't cater to him right now. I can't waste stuff I buy. In fact I had asked him why he didn't want the hot dogs and he told me that he ate them last month and he doesn't want to get burnt out on them. WTF

I grew my first pumpkin :) It is cute and orange and I am all proud of it lol.

Well I need to get back to watching the miners. Talk to you all soon.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Please excuse this rant

But I am just so damn frustrated with this job search. I am so damn tired of looking for work every single day and never hearing anything back from anyone. I am so tired of hearing the honey say things like "if you had a job we could do this or that" "If you had a job we could buy another piece of property" "Are you sure you are looking for a job"
Well you know what I don't have a damn job. I can't find a damn job. And yes damn it I am looking for a freaking job!
I am flat out discouraged right now.
I have been out of work since the last week of July of LAST YEAR. I can't even get the dang entry level jobs I apply for. I can't even get freaking interviews. Or even a stupid letter saying "Sorry."
I feel like I am at my wits end here. My moods go up and down like crazy. One day I am fine and search away. The next day I sit there with my head in my hand as I scroll through all the job postings knowing that I will not get any job I apply for. But I still apply.
I am TIRED of applying. I am tired of not working. I am tired of the looks I get when people act all freaking surprised and horrified that I STILL don't have a job. Hell people put yourself in my shoes. You think I freaking am enjoying this. You think I like that every penny has to be accounted for. That just paying my bills and buying groceries take every bit of my unemployment and then some. You think I like watching that savings go down down down knowing that pretty freaking soon there won't be a savings anymore.
Even the damn grocery store won't hire me.
I swear to god I like to work. That I will do a good job. But it just seems no one will give me a chance.
I know that thousands and thousands of people are in my shoes. I know that just here in the Bay Area I am pretty much the bottom of the pack because I do not have a degree. Hell the job postings right now are asking for a freaking degree for a receptionist position.
I feel like pulling my hair out. I feel like less of a person. I feel like a damn failure. I hate this HATE HATE HATE this.
I just want my life back. My normal life where I go to work. Have money to pay the bills. Have a little extra to do fun stuff if I want to. I want to be able to buy that chicken costume for Halloween. I want to be normal again. I want to stop having to do math in my head in regards to groceries or any other purchase. I want to not have to look at my bank account every day. I want to stop being frightened.
I just want a damn job.
I want to stop being ruled by my emotions. I am tired of being depressed. I am tired of feeling like a damn charity case. Yes, unemployment makes me feel like a charity case while at the same time I thank god that I actually have it.
I am tired of looking at the dollar amount left and worrying about what I am going to do when in 6 checks I run out.
I am tired of sitting at home. I am tired of cooking and cleaning.
I am just tired of everything.
I just want a job. Is that so hard. I just want people to look at me like I am not a charity case. I want them to stop wondering what is wrong with me that I can't find work.
I just want my life back. :(

Monday, October 11, 2010

The inflatable gargoyle

Last weekend I went with the honey to Lowe's. As we were walking around I saw this.

I fell in love. The head moved from side to side. The thing was huge and it was cheap. I told the honey I wanted it and he just laughed. But I knew if I worked on him long enough he would end up getting it for me the next weekend. I am kind of spoiled that way LMAO!!!
So after we went home I started working. Ok I kept talking about how much I loved it. How cute it would look in our yard. How small of a space it would take up since it is inflatable. After three days of talk talk talk he said he would think about it which in our house means FINE just Shut up and we will get it next weekend.
(By the way this works both ways. He tends to get what he wants too)
The neighbor showed up on Thursday. She likes to bring over her son who is two. I guess for adult interaction lol. As we sat in my living room I told her (ok I gushed) about how excited I was about getting the gargoyle. I went into great detail about it's glowing eyes and moving head. I told her how cheap it was and how I couldn't believe that because normally things cost a whole hell of a lot more then that. And I told her I couldn't wait to go back to Lowe's to get it this weekend.
I must have sounded a bit like a crazy person but look at it!!
Friday night a group of neighbors ended up outside chatting. It was me, my next door neighbor, the neighbor with her son and husband and the across the street neighbor. We were talking about the house the across the street neighbors just purchased and how she was going to move but her husband was going to stay until he retired. The other neighbors husband picks up their son and says "We better get going if we are going to get that gargoyle you want from Lowe's"
My mouth dropped. I had one of those moments where you swear there was no way you were hearing what was actually being said.
She says to her husband, "well we have to go to babyland too. We need to get the riding toy."
He says "Well we can't get both. Do you want the riding toy or that gargoyle you have been talking about"
She says " The gargoyle"
And off they go to get ready to leave.
Now this woman had no idea about this gargoyle before I gushed about it. She never told me she was going to get one. She knew I was going on Sunday to buy it for myself. But here it was Friday and she is getting ready to go get it for herself.
She knew how much I wanted it. She should know it will look stupid with two giant gargoyles two houses apart.
Her husband would think I was some kind of copy cat if I put one up.
I have to admit to feeling incredibly irritated and somewhat weirded out.
Why would she do something like that?
Am I just being overly sensitive? I mean she can buy what ever she wants right?

I still don't know if she has it or not. In fact I am not even sure I want to ask her. It really bothers me. The honey said it was rude of her but I am not sure if he was just petting me on the head to make me feel better or what.
So Sunday passed without me getting my gargoyle. I have to admit to being a tad bit sad about that.

Friday, October 8, 2010

The house is just not going to clean itself

You know when I first got laid off I cleaned my little heiny off. Everything sparkled. Everything shined. After all I was used to working for 8 hours a day, coming home tired and cleaning on the weekend.
I washed and waxed and scrubbed. It smelled wonderful in here.
Now... it has been over a year and I still do not have a damn job. Along with all the mental crap that goes with that my house is in failure mode too.
Yes... I see those tumbleweeds. YES... I see the cat hair. YES... I see that drool mark left by the dog eating it's cookie. But I just don't seem to really give a damn anymore.
I mean why should I. I will be home tomorrow and the day after and the day after and the day after that to clean. What is the big dang hurry anymore.

Horrible attitude I know but it is where I am.

It was kind of fun the first few months not working. But after that it just became boring. The only "people" I have to talk to all day are my pets and the ones that live in my computer. I find myself talking out loud at the computer. I find myself asking the cats how their day is going lol.
It might be different if I had kids but I don't.
I am just bored out of my freaking mind lol.

I found myself asking people at retail stores yesterday how much money they make an hour. I haven't done retail for a thousand years and it would obviously mean a HUGE HUGE paycut but at least I would be out of the house! The thing is I would need to make more then my minuscule unemployment for it to even be worth it and most retail places would pay me less then unemployment...however, it might be worth the human contact.

I have got to get my mood switched about the house though. It doesn't take long to clean. I just don't have the gumption to get up and do it. I would rather play Frontierville on Facebook :(

The last few days have been a flurry of switching dish providers. The honey went to watch Son's of Anarchy the other night and found that Dish Network had turned off that channel due to a contract dispute. He lost his mind. He ranted and raved and was just plain old pissed off. Within two days we now have Directv. I will say the ability to tape a show in the bedroom yet watch it in the living room is pretty darn cool. Other then that I don't really see any difference besides the giant ass new dish on the opposite side of my house.
See they couldn't put it where the old ones were. So as of right now we have three dishes on our house and look like we are trying to contact aliens. The two Dish dishes will be removed this weekend by the honey hopefully.

I guess I should go clean the house... .maybe I will read a new blog....clean a blog.... clean something....UGH

Oh I forgot that today I linked up here

And any new visitors that I probably won't get anyway.... you should check out the pictures on my two San Francisco with Sazy posts.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

The job I could never do.....

I decided to try doing one of Mama Kat's writing prompts. (I will admit it is because it seems no one visits my blog anymore :( and I am hoping to find new readers. Pathetic right?)

So what is the job that I couldn't do? Construction. Look at this picture.

I would die. No seriously. Before I ever even got that far I would have a heart attack and die.
Look at these!

See I can't even stand on this.....

Without feeling like my legs have turned to noodles. My body starts to shake and I break out in a full sweat.
I can't tell you how embarrassing this is to me. There was one time the honey lifted me up onto a beam in order to move a box for him. The problem was once I was up there I froze. Full on froze with my hands like claws. He literally had to peel my hands off in order to get me down. I couldn't even let go I was so terrified.
I have great respect for those workers. I also think they are idiots... but that is just my fear talking. Those guys should be paid a bunch!!!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

San Francisco with Sazy part 2

After our trip to the ruins we decided to do a little driving around. First stop was Lombard Street. (again you will need to click the pictures) Sorry!!!

The financial district

and then the Castro district. We took pictures out of a moving car.

I fell in love with this sign (click picture)

Did you know in the Castro men actually walk around completely naked? I had no freaking idea. And I have no idea how they do not get in trouble for it either.

We had a great time and I can't wait for our next road trip lol.

Things are a little crazy here right now. but more on that later.

Monday, October 4, 2010

San Francisco With Sazy. Part one.

Before I left on my camping trip (and posted a totally misspelled blog lol) I spent the day with Sazy in San Francisco.
I only live about 45 minutes to an hour from San Francisco but it really isn't somewhere I visit. However, on facebook a friend of mine who was visiting the bay area from out of town posted pictures of a set of ruins that neither Sazy or I knew existed. Well of course we had to go!!!
Since the honey was off hunting we had all the time in the world to visit. We hopped in the car and drove up...errr... I think it is up to San Francisco. We stopped at a nice Pho place and had a yummy lunch and then headed off to the ruins of the Sutro Baths.
(little wikipedia here)
In March 14, 1896 the Sutro Baths were opened to the public as the world's largest indoor swimming pool establishment. The Baths were built on the sleepy western side of San Francisco by wealthy entrepreneur and former mayor of San Francisco (1894–1896), Adolph Sutro. The vast glass, iron, wood, and reinforced concrete structure was mostly hidden, and filled a small beach inlet below the Cliff House, also owned by Adolph Sutro at the time. Both the Cliff House and the former Baths site are now a part of the Golden Gate National Recreation Area and operated by the United States National Park Service.

A visitor to the Baths not only had a choice of 7 different swimming pools—one fresh water and six salt water baths ranging in temperatures—but could also visit a museum displaying Sutro's large and varied personal collection of artifacts from his travels, a concert hall, seating for 8,000, and, at one time, an ice skating rink. During high tides, water would flow directly into the pools from the nearby ocean, recycling the 2 million US gallons (7,600 m³) of water in about an hour. During low tides, a powerful turbine water pump, built inside a cave at sea level, could be switched on from a control room and could fill the tanks at a rate of 6,000 US gallons a minute (380 L/s), recycling all the water in five hours.

Well now it is a ruins. Since Sazy and I have a fascination with all things old.... we had to go.
In order to get there though we had to walk down an incredibly steep hill. But the view... my God what a beautiful view!
(Trust me on this people... You MUST click the pictures to get the full effect. YOU MUST. Trust me!!! This will be really important in later pictures.)

The first thing I had to do when I finally got down to the ruins was crawl through this little hole and explore.

The only way into this part of the ruins was the little windows cut out of the stone.

After getting out of the ruins, which was a lot harder then getting in by the way, we headed towards a cave we saw in the side of the mountain.

Stepping into that cave was like stepping into air conditioning. It was sweet bliss after being outside in the heat. As we walked further the tone of the cave changed and you could hear booming and crashing. Turns out there was a place directly in the middle where the water rushed in and out.

The other end of the cave ended in a jumble of rocks and crashing surf.

After walking back through the cave we decided it was time to walk across the top of the ruins to the beach.
Except....I had a problem. A huge monster problem.
I totally thought I would be able to walk across since the pathways were about 2 1/2 to 3 feet wide. But I couldn't.
See I am deathly afraid of heights. DEATHLY! I can't even stand on a chair without being scared out of my mind. I am not sure what the hell made me think I would be able to walk across those ruin tops. It might have been the baby stroller. (yup I will wait while you scroll back up and see what the hell I am talking about.)
But the drop off on both sides was anywhere from 4 feet to 9 feet. I literally took three steps and completely stopped dead. My legs started to shake. My body froze up. I was 100% terrified. I looked at Sazy walking along and felt like a complete ass. I couldn't do it.
Sazy was great about it. Didn't tease me at all. Instead we just started walking AROUND the ruins through a marsh. At one point we came across a blue heron that both of us stared at for quite a while wondering if it was real. Only because the damn thing never moved. It seemed like even it's feathers didn't move in the breeze. Finally it moved its head.

When we finally reached the beach it was a relief. I had to go put my dirty black marsh covered feet in the water.

The view of the ruins was beautiful.

We stopped for a while to admire the ocean.

(here is where it gets REALLY important to click on the pictures lol)
We had a tiny giggle over this mans suit. (obviously you need to click)

As we were sitting there we saw this woman who was sunbathing topless. She had the most perfect ass in this little tiny suit. (seriously click this)

A woman and her husband walked by and her husband stared pretty damn hard at the perfect ass as they walked by. She whacked him good on the arm as they walked farther down the beach.
It was at this time that the woman got up to talk on the phone....only it wasn't a woman.

Sazy and I had a pretty good laugh at our mistake.
Then the woman who had smacked her husband got a gander at the fact that the "woman" was actually a man and had a good laugh at herself. The husband looked horrified LMAO!!!
Doesn't this man have the perfect behind? (Seriously click)

Sazy and I had a long ass hike back up to the truck. I think we both were about dead when we reached it.
I still am pissed off at myself that I could not walk on those ruins. It made me feel stupid that my body.. or is it my mind... had more control over myself then I did. It is embarrassing.
Look for part two tomorrow. I need to finish unpacking.