Friday, October 29, 2010

No news yet and other random crap

Well I haven't heard anything yet about the job. But they did say it would be one to two weeks. It is so hard to find a balance between hope and what tends to be reality lately.
You don't want to get your hopes up to far because after falling so many times it is not a good idea. So I just wait. With a little hope. Not to much but a little.

So my boobs are at the point where just putting on a bra hurts right? I go to Costco and they have those giant carts where the handle is exactly at boob height. I didn't see the 2x4 sticking out and the cart hit it and stopped causing me to smash my boobs on the handle. I actually cried four tears before I was able to get myself under control. It really sucked.

I had an absolute meltdown last night. It was a combo money/stress/no job/boo hoo pity party which I had absolutely no idea was going to happen. One minute I was chatting all la la la la and then my voice cracked and tears spit out my eyes. I threw my hand over my mouth pretty much in horror and embarrassment. Seriously I had no idea I was about to turn into some blubbering baby.
I have this fear of never finding a job, running out of money and having to be dependent on the honey. I DO NOT want that to happen. It is my own personal issue but there it is.
Growing up as a child I had to depend on others. Government cheese, welfare, food stamps and handouts. (although the giant blocks of cheese were damn yummy.... but then again maybe I was just hungry LMAO) As I got older I promised myself I would never ever be in that position again. I know it is not exactly the same thing but in my head it kind of feels like it. I don't want to be a charity case!!

My house is decorated totally Halloweeny. <--not a word and I don't care lol
I got giant spiders on the fence. Tombstones on the lawn with skeleton pieces. Stuff stuck on the windows. When Sazy comes over to watch Ghost Hunters live on Halloween I will have her take a picture for you guys.

Here is something that scares the crap out of me every time I hear it.

It makes the hair stand up on my neck and completely just changes my view of the world around me. I don't know what it is about that piece of music but it makes me shaky.

And here is my favorite horror movie "monster" of all time.

He had a way of getting under my skin.

Well I have to go make some yummy meatballs and then read some blogs I am behind on. Talk to you all later

1 comment:

  1. It's not just your problem. Nobody wants to be dependant on other people. Everyone wants to know that they can stand on their own two feet if they have to, even if they don't want to have to.

    And make no mistake about it. Government cheese is/was NOT yummy. You were just hungry and didn't know any better.