The waiting game

The interview on Friday went ok I think. You never know. I ended up sitting in a room with 3 men as they asked me question after question. Then sat in the room with one guy as he asked about salary. He then told me he was going to "sleep on it" and for me to send him my references.
So here it is on Monday and I wait.

The problem I have is the job they interviewed me for was not the job I applied for. After posting the job they sat down and tweeked what they wanted. So instead of a estimator position that I had applied for they changed it to a project administrator. What that means is I would get to do all the filing and the calling in of purchase orders. I would also back up the payroll person and the receptionist. Pretty much a admin position. Not what I was expecting in the least.
Now don't get me wrong, I can do this job. The work involved would be easy. But it is not what I was expecting.
If the money was there and they offered me the job I would have to take it. It is not like people are crawling out of the woodwork asking me to interview for them.
I do have to admit to being sort of disappointed in the change of duties though.
But either way I have not received a call or a email yet. So maybe the whole thinking is a moot point.

Sazy and I had a great time this weekend looking at houses.

We started out taking a "short cut" over the top of a mountain which was anything but a short cut lol. The beginning of that drive about scared me into peeing myself. Giant cliffs with no fence or rail just a drop off into hell. *shudders.
Once we got to the top it was a stunning drive through green meadows with flowing creeks and happy California cows. At one point we stopped and walked over to some friendly horses to pet them. One fell in love with Sazy and seriously mouthed her up LMAO!!! Obviously these horses were used to someone stopping with a apple or something in their pocket.
This trip was Sazy's turn to tell stories of her youth and I completely enjoyed it. After the 3 hour shortcut we finally made it to a little town for food and a potty break. Then we started looking at houses. We found all kinds of cute little houses. There was one that had stained glass surrounding the front door. The light was just perfect enough to send the pattern onto the wood floor inside.
We decided to go check out the backyard. As we got out of the truck we had noticed two little boys with squirtguns. They decided to play army stalkers and started to follow us while hiding behind fences and bushes.
We walked into the backyard and could hear them creeping up. So Sazy continued to walk into the yard and I hid behind the fence and jumped out at them. Stalking the stalkers lol.
They were good sports and ended up exploring with us.
At one point they were prepared to shimmy under the partially opened garage door so I told them that there were creatures in there that would probably jump on them. They backed away from the garage after that.
One cut his finger and showed his injury to Sazy who was very motherly towards him. CUTE!
We hopped back in the car and headed up to grandmas for the night. We ended up driving through miles of pitch black back roads. I know Sazy thought I had no clue where I was going LOL.
After spending the night with Grandma we spent a incredibly lazy morning just lounging in the sunshine. We then hopped in the car and started the house hunt again.
By the way we are looking for a house for Sazy's mom who is moving here from Virginia.
The first house we stopped at both of us fell in love on the spot. The yard was huge. The house, small and cute. The whole thing was perfect. It was the first house we have looked at that we actually sat there and discussed what we would do with it. How we would paint it. How the yard could be fixed.
We then drove to the next town and HATED it. I think that we were spoiled by the cute house. Although I have to admit it was like driving through the bad part of town in that town. Blick.
We ended up giving up and coming home instead. It was a great weekend!

Dear alien who has inhabited my body

Get the hell out.
Seriously you are freaking me out.

I haven't been myself lately. In fact I can't stand myself right now. It is like watching someone on tv who you hate and not being able to change the channel.

I am thinking to much.

I have this overwhelming urge to escape. To just go and keep on going. To be alone.
Problem is I am pretty well trapped right now not having a job. And I normally don't feel so antsy. I don't normally want to escape but man the feeling has been growing like mad to the point of my skin itching.
I am not sure if I am just frustrated at everything. At the job hunt, the money worries, the boredom of being home every day, the never ending housework, the lack of mental support, the cats, the dogs, the honey, life in general.
I just feel off. I am snappy. Bitchy and just plain out of sorts. Kind of like you need a vacation but isn't that what I am on? One big old extended vacation?
I am tired of cleaning the bathroom only to be asked why I didn't sweep the living room. I am tired of feeling like the household help. I know I am at home and I know that should be my job right now. But damn it if I don't feel like pulling my freaking hair out and screaming at the top of my lungs I AM DONE!
I'm blaming it on the alien.
Or some kind of phase.
Or maybe I am just plain losing it a little here.
I am hoping this feeling of.... of....frustration...no..helplessness....no... wrongness just goes away. I find myself hoping that a job will cure it. If I ever get a damn job.
I AM DONE. UGH.
It is like every insecurity I have ever had is rearing it's ugly little head.
I actually laid in bed last night trying to determine if I would be able to make it on my own. If I would be able to be an "adult" and take care of myself.
When did I become so...scared.
I used to be the type of girl who on the spur of the moment would do what I wanted. Damn the consequences.
Now I feel timid. What happened to me?

Anywhoooooooooooo.... in other news lol
I busted my dog yesterday with a possum in her mouth. A dead possum but still it was A DEAD POSSUM!!! EEEWWWWWWW
I live in a very large city. So it was kind of a shock.
And the longer I looked at the thing the more I realized it was just a baby and then I started feeling sorry for the little dead guy. Sigh.

Last weekend I went house shopping with my buddy Sazy. Her mom is moving out here from out of state. (HA I almost wrote outer space) Sazy had a list of homes under 80 thousand dollars. I had no idea that you could get a house between 50 and 80 thousand dollars in California. And I was doubly shocked to find out they NICE houses. Pretty houses. Houses that were built after 1995 and have 3 bedrooms. There were older and newer homes and most of them were wonderful. There was one where the people who left it obviously were pissed off so they did a ton of damage from ripped out wall fixtures to a burn on the kitchen floor.
We drove all over the central valley and had a blast sneaking into backyards to look in windows. The scenery was stunning.
Then we stopped for dinner on the way home and had the worst meal of either of our lives. Seriously. HORRIBLE! But I do have to add that day to one of my best days ever list.
But then again I always have fun with Sazy.

Enough for today.