I realized something today

Well a few things actually. One I have turned into gloom and doom girl which explains why no one comments anymore. (Besides a rare wonderful few)Of course if I actually commented on all the blogs I read daily I would probably get more in response but I just... I just don't have the energy :(
Two, today marks the one year anniversary of my uncle David's death. Which means I have had this blog for over a year now. I started this about 2 weeks before he died. Actually I think the day before I found out he had brain cancer.
I can't tell you how many times I have been in the backyard working on weeds or with the flowers when I hear a noise from his side of the fence. From the area he used to sit at every day. I can't tell you how many times I have walked towards his spot to yell something stupid over the fence. Or to tell him to shut the hell up (jokingly) only to remember he isn't there anymore. That he won't be ever again. And it hits me all over again. The sorrow. The anger. The loss. The sense of alone I get without him in my life.
He was a good man and he deserved to die with dignity. Cancer sucks.
Three, all I do is bitch bitch bitch. I bitch about my no job. I bitch about money. I have turned bitter and I hate it. Something has to give. I can feel myself stretching tighter and tighter. There is going to be a breaking point and I have no idea what the hell is going to happen.
So I need to cheer up. I need to mellow out. I need to calm down. To bad I just don't see it happening anytime soon.

AND I totally forgot to add the SYTYCD blurb which totally 100% doesn't go with this blog but I really don't give a flying fuck lol

Oh no Alex! Poor guy! He gave up a ton for this.

Kat - Very sparkly must be itchy dress. And why don't they comb her hair?

Lauren - Cha cha - Music totally didn't work. it was kind of boring for me. Hmmm the judges really liked it.

Jose - contemporary - soul mate dance - smoldering at the end. Very pretty. Wow he made me get all watery eyed when he did. The judges are correct he is all soul.

Kent - Hip Hop - He was pretty darn good in this. The routine was kind of slow though. He looks better and more comfy.

Adechike - Jazz - bar dance- her dress was so not sexy. In fact the whole thing wasn't as sexy as it could have been. I wasn't thrilled with it.

Billy - Thief dance - Something is not right with me today. I didn't like this one either. The music was good, the dance was good but blah.

Ashley - hip hop- ninja dance - Those pants are stupid. She did well. The whole ninja thing didn't work for me though.

Robert - jazz - Doll dance - Ouch she almost fell. I kind of hated that dance. People don't like him because he is an idiot and kind of fake.

Adechike - Bollywood - pretty high jumps in his genie outfit. GO KAT!! I loved that she asked why it was ok for Jose to do his own thing but Adechike got in trouble. The judges sure are hard on him. I don't think he was that bad. Mia was an ass saying she missed Alex.

Lauren and Kent - contemporary - young lovers dance - Ok that dance made me smile. Kent finally didn't have to act like a "man dog" in this one. The two of them matched well.

Ashley and Robert - quick step - They did really well. The dance looked good. They really need to stop calling it the kiss of death dance. I am sure that they all ready know that. Sheesh

Billy and Jose - african jazz - That was so interesting. it seemed to end to fast. Loved Billy's hair and he was damn creepy with his gumby sinew body. Jose was pretty good too. Not great but damn good.

Kicked in the teeth

UGH!!!

Welcome to my happy blog that turned into a non happy blog due to a phone call this morning. I spent last night determining what I wanted to talk about and was pretty excited to do so today.
However, sometimes plans don’t happen. Sometimes life just comes along and kicks you in the teeth without warning. That happened to me this morning.

As I was getting ready for work my cell phone rang. I get up to go answer it since no one ever calls me on the darn thing and I was curious as to who it was. Turns out it is my mother.

Now since I rarely ever talk to my mother on the phone, maybe 2 or 3 times a year, I knew something was up. She proceeds to tell me that my Uncle Bill had a heart attack and is in intensive care. Great. Then she proceeds to tell me that my Uncle David ended up being kept at the hospital last night when he went for an appointment. You know when they keep you after a routine appointment it isn’t a good thing.

After that incredibly uplifting phone call I drive to work and call David’s wife to find out what is going on. Turns out he has a large mass on his lung. She says they think he has lung cancer but are not 100% sure. They are doing a biopsy today on the mass. They also found spots on his liver. And I guess he is on oxygen.

This sent me into a tailspin. A pretty hard core depressed state to be honest. My grandmother passed away due to lung cancer. I don’t think I am ready for anything to happen to either one of them.

So….sorry no cheer from me today. No funny quips or smiles. Just a few knocked out teeth and a bruise where my heart is.

Hey there

I have been throwing around the idea of writing a blog for a while now. The problem is I am computer stupid. Oh I can turn it on and navigate around different sites but setting up a webpage is a little more difficult.

In my head I see a fancy blog with pictures and fun graphics. In reality though I put the header you now see up and that is the extent of what I have been able to figure out. So the look may or may not change depending on how frustrated I feel like getting that day lol.

Why have I thought about a blog? Because there are things I see or read where I think “man I need to bitch about that” or “man someone else besides me needs to worry” or “Am I worrying about nothing” or “man, am I bored so I am going to gab my brains out to random strangers.”

An example: This morning I get up to get ready for work. I sit in front of the computer putting my make up on and pull up Yahoo news. See I like to know if anyone blew anyone up or any kind of major weird thing happened while I slept.
I have no idea why but that is just what I do in the morning.

Front page news stories… North Korea threatens to harm US if attacked and Obama: US ready for any threat from North Korea

So there I am reading these articles. Have you followed any of this? And I am thinking what the hell is wrong with North Korea?

We are like two bullies who are poking each other with pointy sticks.

I would like to talk to the leader of North Korea and say.. “Hey dude, you know if you just turn your missile around a mile away from Hawaii, where no one is, no one would be bothering you”

But it is like they stopped thinking reality. The US and North Korea. Sure the leaders may “prove who has a bigger dick and a better military” but random people like me and you are the ones that are going to pay.

It is just plain stupid UGH.

Oops, got negative and cussed in my first post! Get used to it I guess. I never have been one to hold my tongue.

Hope you stick around! (that is if anyone ever accidently happens across this blog *snort)