Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Have I mentioned how much I hate the dentist?

No... it isn't hate it is downright fear. More then fear it is terror.
Again this stems from my childhood when I had Dr. Dawson. Yes, I even remember his name.
The man had to be 90 years old and he shook. A lot. A LOT! So much shaking that when he was drilling it was completely normal for him to drill off the tooth and into your lip, cheek or gums.
I lived in mortal fear of going to visit him and that has passed on over into my adulthood.
As soon as I step foot into the dentists office I start to shake. I shake to the point where people notice I am shaking. That and the paleness that takes over my face makes me look like I am on the verge of passing out..... which actually to be totally 100% honest I am. The fine coating of sweat doesn't help either I am sure.
Why am I telling you about my death fear of dentists? Because yesterday while eating a stupid fruit snack I felt a piece of my tooth come out. A big piece. A large enough piece that I knew instantly I was going to have to go to the dentist.
If only the fear was the only issue I have. But of course it isn't.
See what seems like a million years ago now but in actuality it was only 6 years ago. I think or it might have been 5 I decided that fear would not be an issue. I was going to the dentist and I was going to get everything fixed. See I come from a family who has bad teeth. Not crooked and ugly but teeth that get cavities very easy. Soft enamel I think the dentist called it.
So I spent 4 months getting 4 million things taken care of. That meant going to the dentist every 2 to three weeks. After insurance took care of their portion I owed out of pocket $4000.
But I was so damn happy my mouth was perfect.
But I owed $4000. I have been making payments since then. My latest bill is for $678.00. I am almost done!!
See that... Almost done. :(
Now I have to go get something fixed.
And I have no dental insurance.

So there are my issues. I have to go back to a dentist that I still owe money to from a million years ago, with no insurance.
I am embarrassed that I still owe them money.
I am embarrassed that I have no insurance.
I am embarrassed to go to the dentist.... tomorrow at 1pm.
Add the fear to that combo and I just might actually pass out tomorrow.

This sucks :(


  1. At least you go.

    I haven't been to the dentist in years because I seriously get a panic attack when I see one.

    And regarding the note on my blog, no, I rarely do Lost blogs because a lot of my readers are in Europe so they haven't seen the episode yet. But man, I cried a lot..

  2. First of all - the dentists KNOW how expensive they are - don't be embarrassed about owing them; they don't care as long as you are paying. Second of all, can you dentist prescribe you a pill to take the anxiety off? Hubby doesn't like dentists and when he had to do a root canal they gave him this pill - it was amazing! Although they did look at me funny when I asked if we could have a daily prescription - so he'd be blissed out all the time.....

  3. I'm with Gigi, don't be embarrassed at all. You should be proud at how much work you have done to get it down that low. I hope it goes well for you tomorrow. I hate the dentist too, I am very scared. Tell the dentist right from the start, you are on a budget and do what he can but within reason. WE do that all the time. Although we have benefits here in Canada, we still tell him not to put anything in our mouth not covered by our benefits. Good luck. HUGS

  4. Gigi is absolutely right. Nothing to be embarassed over as long as you are still paying them. And they also know people are scared of them and should be able to give you a pill to take the edge off. If they can't, maybe they can recommend a dentist who caters to people who are afraid. Good luck!