Monday, May 17, 2010

Tiny/big Bites to get caught up

It has been a few days since I took grandma home. I have to admit that I kind of miss her. We played cards every night. We went places during the day. We watched tv together. We laughed and just had a great time. Now it is back to normal. Me sitting home during the day alone. I am a bit lonely for my grandma lol.

My cat is driving me insane. within the last two weeks she has discovered her "big" voice. A incredibly loud and annoying meow that pretty much echoes off the walls. She walks around the house meowing at nothing. She stands in the kitchen meowing. She stands in the hall way meowing. In the bathroom, in the computer room, in the cats room, in the living room. Pretty much constantly. The most annoying thing is the 2am, 3am, 2:30 am, etc time when she stands in the doorway of our bedroom and meows... over and over again.
I have no idea how to get her to stop it and the honey is getting pretty damn angry. To be honest I don't blame him it is VERY LOUD.
She has water. She has food. She is a happy cat. I think that she found this new voice and it made her all excited. I honestly wish she would shut the hell up though. All day long she meows. All night long she meows. The only time she doesn't meow is if I pick her up.
Ummm I cannot hold a cat all day long and seriously I can't sleep with the cat wrapped around my face which is the only place she likes to lay with me in the bed lately.

I am beginning to get frustrated and sad again regarding my job search. It is kind of funny how it goes in phases. Hope, frustration, sadness, hope.... I am running out of unemployment again also. I have exactly 4 more checks. I have no idea if I get a second extension or not. But I am beginning to feel like a damn mootch.
Every day I look for a job. Every day I send out resumes. Every day Every day EVERY DAY. In July I will have been out of work for a year. A FUCKING YEAR! Well... minus the three weeks I worked for the stupid company that laid me off.
I am beginning to feel pretty scared and helpless here. All I want is a job. I just want to wake up and go to work. But I guess I am exactly like the thousands and thousands of other people in California.
I keep reading about other people who have been out of work for a year or more and my palms start to sweat.
I have this gut feeling that people are either looking at me in pity or thinking I am just slacking off not looking for a job. Neither feeling is good. And the little comments "you gotta apply to be able to get a job" while maybe not mean spirited really do kick me in the teeth. I am applying. That comment which has been made by more then one person shows me that they think I am sitting on my ass doing nothing. I wish I could show them how many jobs I have applied for.
I no longer get hopeful as I send out my resume. I used to in the beginning. You know that "oh this sounds like a job I would really enjoy!" I don't have that anymore. Instead it is just another resume sent out into la la land.
I can't make someone give me a job no matter how much I want to. But God I seriously need a job. It is beginning to depress me. I am beginning to get incredibly embarrassed about not having a job.

My Sharks hockey team made it through yet another set! WOO HOO!!! Now we just have to beat the Chicago Blackhawks. We lost game one but it is best of seven so I have hope.

I got my tickets to the Wall tour. WOOT!!! The show is in December so I have a long wait. The show was sold out in less then 20 minutes so I feel incredibly lucky to have gotten the tickets.

My house is a mess. With Grandma, a three year old birthday party and everything else that has gone on cleaning hasn't been a top priority. I am going to fix that today... I hope lol

We had a new fence installed between us and the yelling idiot neighbors. The fence has been falling down for years. In fact it had gotten so bad that sitting in the backyard you could see the neighbors. I could no longer open my side window blinds because slats had fallen out and I would look directly into their window and them into ours. We had to block off that section of the yard to the dogs or they would have escaped.
They came into some money due to the death of his sister so they finally agreed to split the cost of the fence. Something we had asked them for years to do. We jumped on the chance and now we have a nice solid fence with no need to look at the neighbors anymore. It is so nice.

I have a few posts planned. In fact I wrote them on a notepad by the computer so I wouldn't forget. I must have about 8 different notepads. I am a list maker lol.

Off to clean the house. And read some posts from you all in between.


  1. Wow, it is tough out there. I don't doubt you are trying your ass off to get a job. I hate the way you have to apply for everything electronically now. No personal touch. Sometimes it feels like you are sending your resume off to limbo. If only you could just meet the employer in person, you know you could sell yourself. Job searching has changed so much. Good luck, I will keep you in my thoughts.

  2. so glad you had a good visit with Grandmom. And it has to be very frustrating looking for a job in this economic climate. Hopefully you will get an extension if you haven't found anything.