For the past two weeks I haven't been able to sleep well. I have no idea what is going on but really I think it is past time it stopped.
I dread the lights turning off and the tv turned off. That is the point where I lay there with my eyes wide open staring at the ceiling.
Night after night I am wide awake. When I do fall asleep I toss and turn and turn and toss waking myself up over and over again. I get to hot. Then I get to cold. Then the blankets itch or my leg itches or UGH! You get the picture.
This happens every night. It has gotten to the point where I don't want the lights to turn off.
I have cut off sugar and caffeine before bedtime. But nothing seems to work.
And to top it off every morning I wake up at 8:52. It doesn't matter if I lay there until 4:30am not sleeping I am awake at 8:52.
The lack of sleep is making me edgy.
I have sleep medication but for some reason I am a bit hesitant to take it. I feel as though I am pretty well borderline depressed (if not all the way!) and taking a sleeping pill when depressed brings up to many weird death images in my head. You know the whole get depressed and take sleeping pills to die scenario.
I am so far from that it is not even funny but a part of me says no way to the sleeping medication anyway.
I have no idea what the hell that means. I guess I am just weird.
Something has got to give though. I can't stand it anymore. Let me tell you my ceiling is pretty damn boring.
I suppose it will get to the point where a sleeping pill will be necessary but I am hopeful that it won't.
Funny how when I was feeling normal taking a sleeping pill was fine.
I guess I am weird.
Today I applied for a job. I know exciting right LMAO! Not like I don't do that every day.
The job I applied for....I am fully qualified for it. It is in the estimating department of a large construction firm. It isn't a estimator position but it is a Estimating admin position.
This is the first job in a long time that I applied for that I hope I get a call for.
So cross your fingers people. I really need a job. And it was totally strange to actually get excited over a job posting. That hasn't happened in a long long time.