Wednesday, May 26, 2010

This sleep issue is getting to me

For the past two weeks I haven't been able to sleep well. I have no idea what is going on but really I think it is past time it stopped.
I dread the lights turning off and the tv turned off. That is the point where I lay there with my eyes wide open staring at the ceiling.
Night after night I am wide awake. When I do fall asleep I toss and turn and turn and toss waking myself up over and over again. I get to hot. Then I get to cold. Then the blankets itch or my leg itches or UGH! You get the picture.
This happens every night. It has gotten to the point where I don't want the lights to turn off.
I have cut off sugar and caffeine before bedtime. But nothing seems to work.
And to top it off every morning I wake up at 8:52. It doesn't matter if I lay there until 4:30am not sleeping I am awake at 8:52.
The lack of sleep is making me edgy.
I have sleep medication but for some reason I am a bit hesitant to take it. I feel as though I am pretty well borderline depressed (if not all the way!) and taking a sleeping pill when depressed brings up to many weird death images in my head. You know the whole get depressed and take sleeping pills to die scenario.
I am so far from that it is not even funny but a part of me says no way to the sleeping medication anyway.
I have no idea what the hell that means. I guess I am just weird.
Something has got to give though. I can't stand it anymore. Let me tell you my ceiling is pretty damn boring.
I suppose it will get to the point where a sleeping pill will be necessary but I am hopeful that it won't.
Funny how when I was feeling normal taking a sleeping pill was fine.
I guess I am weird.


Today I applied for a job. I know exciting right LMAO! Not like I don't do that every day.
The job I applied for....I am fully qualified for it. It is in the estimating department of a large construction firm. It isn't a estimator position but it is a Estimating admin position.
This is the first job in a long time that I applied for that I hope I get a call for.
So cross your fingers people. I really need a job. And it was totally strange to actually get excited over a job posting. That hasn't happened in a long long time.


  1. About sleeping... a few things come to mind. Try Melantonin (I'm not sure if thats spelled right) it's a natural sleep aid remedy. Found in the vitamins section. Or even Valerian Root. That is a natural relaxant. I don't like natural stuff, but I know valerian root works. Are you keeping yourself active enough during the day, in order to tire yourself out so that your brain is too tired to run the wheel?

    I always shut the light off, leave the TV on. I hope you find a way to get some zzz's soon and good luck on that job call!

  2. Have you tried doing some relaxation meditations? Here's some websites with really good ones.

    I pop my ipod on and by the end I'm limp as a noodle and ready for some shut eye.

    Valerian root is also a great suggestion. My bfff uses it on occasion and swears by it.

  3. Fingers crossed for the call back on the job! I agree with Aunt, you need to make sure you are active enough during the day to be able to sleep. And exercise is good for depression, all those good natural chemicals in the brain get going and you feel good. Meditation is also another good choice. I had to practice at it to get my mind to shut off and get into the meditation but it does help me.

  4. The suggestions above are all great and I strongly urge you to try them out. I also understand your retisence to take a sleeping pill in a depressive state, but here's the thing, the sleeping pills I have were actually prescribed to me BY my last psychiatrist. He told me quality and amount of sleep was extremely important and that it would help with the depression to get plenty of sleep. I rarely used them only because I didn't need them often, and when I did I didn't think of them until it was too late. But, I would urge you to reconsider.

    I'm glad you found a job posting you're excited about! I hope they call you and it works out! Good luck!