At 5am I got a call letting me know my uncle had passed away. After trying to pull myself together for a few minutes I went over to sit with his wife to wait for the funeral home to pick up his body. The hospice nurse was there to take the morphine all ready. I went over and said goodbye to him. I swear I was completely numb at that point. Hell I think I was numb for most of yesterday.
The funeral home came and got him about 6:30 am. His wife really lost it at that point. Actually so did I. We all sat in the living room in shock and horror. As much as you prepare yourself for death when it happens it still kicks you in the ass.
We talked and made phone calls once it got to 8am. The honey needing something to do went to McDonalds and got everyone some breakfast mcmuffins. Around 9 people started trickling in. You know we would all just pull ourselves together when the next batch would come causing us all to lose it again.
I lost the time from 11 to 4. Seriously I have no idea where it went. I know I was there but I really don’t remember it to well. It is kind of a blur. Somewhere in there the honey went to Togo’s and brought us all food again.
Around 6 we decided it was time for wine and maybe a beer or two. His son and I drank a bottle of wine. I think the two of us needed that few minutes of bonding time after all the activity of the day. At one point a man pulled up in the driveway. I looked at him and thought what the heck. Why is my grocery store man here? He pulled out some food and buns and came up to the door. Turns out he knows Sue. I had no idea. But I have to tell you that it was a kind of surreal experience.
People came and went all day and most of the night. I knew I had to go to work today so I left at around 11pm. Funny thing that, as soon as I got into my house I started to bawl my eyes out. I guess I had tried so hard to keep it together all day that the minute I was in my own home I really lost it.
I have no idea what time I finally got to sleep. All I know is today I am so tired. Mentally and physically. And I have no desire what so ever to be here at work. I feel as if I should be home.. well next door with Sue. I don’t see myself here for long today.
I’m tired and sad.