As I applied to job number 8 for the day. I don't expect to get a job anymore. The number of jobs I am applying for has increased. Temporary agencies. Regular jobs. Retail jobs. I am applying to a minimum of 5 a day, mostly more, since I got back from vacation.
But yesterday it hit me. I honestly don't believe I am going to get a job. As I sent out my resume I felt nothing. I no longer check the answering machine as soon as I walk in the door anymore. I mean why bother? It is not like there is going to be a call on there. In fact yesterday I didn't remember about the answering machine until around 7pm.
Applying has just become something I do. Something that doesn't mean anything. No one is going to call me. Just like they haven't called me for the last year.
In over a year of applying I have had two interviews. One that led to that stupid three week job. Other then that... no phone calls. I can count on one hand the number of no thank you letters I have gotten.
My self esteem has taken a large hit.
It doesn't help the comments that you hear when someone asks if you have found work yet.
"You need to apply more"
"You don't have a job YET??"
"Your resume must be screwed up"
"You need to try to find a job in order to find a job"
"You just like staying home and getting paid for it"
"Aren't you even looking?"
"Try a temp agency/job board/networking" (like I haven't)
"Being on unemployment is like being on welfare. Once you get on it is easy to not try anymore. Don't you want a job?"
"You are not trying hard enough"
"Got a job yet?"
"Geez how long are you going to milk the system?"
Those are just a few. They hurt. But there is nothing more I can do to find a job. I look at all job sites daily including the temp agencies. I look at cities and county jobs. I look at company websites that are in my area. There are no jobs.
I don't expect to find one either.
It sucks.
So daily I will apply like it is a normal thing to do. Daily I will do what ever I do around the house while pretending that I will be hired some day. I hate this. :(
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
This is a horrible situation to be in. I am soooo sorry you are there. We can still try to hope that something will come up for you and you will get that dream job once again. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I remember going through this, I can sympathize, totally. Just keep plugging, something will show up!
ReplyDeleteKeep applying - something is bound to happen sooner or later. It's hard, I know. But something will happen eventually.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I remember that feeling all to well. I wish I knew just what to say to encourage you and lift you up. I truly hope something comes through for you soon!
ReplyDelete