No news yet and other random crap

Well I haven't heard anything yet about the job. But they did say it would be one to two weeks. It is so hard to find a balance between hope and what tends to be reality lately.
You don't want to get your hopes up to far because after falling so many times it is not a good idea. So I just wait. With a little hope. Not to much but a little.




So my boobs are at the point where just putting on a bra hurts right? I go to Costco and they have those giant carts where the handle is exactly at boob height. I didn't see the 2x4 sticking out and the cart hit it and stopped causing me to smash my boobs on the handle. I actually cried four tears before I was able to get myself under control. It really sucked.



I had an absolute meltdown last night. It was a combo money/stress/no job/boo hoo pity party which I had absolutely no idea was going to happen. One minute I was chatting all la la la la and then my voice cracked and tears spit out my eyes. I threw my hand over my mouth pretty much in horror and embarrassment. Seriously I had no idea I was about to turn into some blubbering baby.
I have this fear of never finding a job, running out of money and having to be dependent on the honey. I DO NOT want that to happen. It is my own personal issue but there it is.
Growing up as a child I had to depend on others. Government cheese, welfare, food stamps and handouts. (although the giant blocks of cheese were damn yummy.... but then again maybe I was just hungry LMAO) As I got older I promised myself I would never ever be in that position again. I know it is not exactly the same thing but in my head it kind of feels like it. I don't want to be a charity case!!


My house is decorated totally Halloweeny. <--not a word and I don't care lol
I got giant spiders on the fence. Tombstones on the lawn with skeleton pieces. Stuff stuck on the windows. When Sazy comes over to watch Ghost Hunters live on Halloween I will have her take a picture for you guys.



Here is something that scares the crap out of me every time I hear it.

It makes the hair stand up on my neck and completely just changes my view of the world around me. I don't know what it is about that piece of music but it makes me shaky.


And here is my favorite horror movie "monster" of all time.

He had a way of getting under my skin.

Well I have to go make some yummy meatballs and then read some blogs I am behind on. Talk to you all later

A question

The neighbor across the street (who just lost his wife last year) asked me to water his front yard while he and the kids are in Washington for the week. It looks sad and blah and kind of crunchy. Would it be weird if I planted a few flowers for him along the window where flowers look like they should be? There are dead remnants of older annual flowers.
He said when he asked me to water that he was trying to make it look nice. I have known the guy for years.

Tiny bites

Some where out there in blog land there is a random Monday or Tuesday or something like that where you post little random things. Since I can't for the life of me remember what the hell it was or where in the heck I saw it... Making up my own day and random stuff. Cause that is how I am... a rebel *snort!

Ahem... anywhooo......

This rain is beginning to get on my nerves. Now I know that we need it. I know that it is keeping everything nice and green. I know that pretty soon it will be so hot I will feel like flaying the skin off my body to get rid of the sweat. But right now... at this moment. I am tired of the rain. I am tired of the pond scum smell. I am tired of watching the week go by all sunshiney and nice only to have the weekend rain like mad. Not to mention rain makes me not want to bother to shave my legs and I am beginning to look like big foot lol.
Yes there are good things. No watering. But please could I just have two weeks to dry out then you can rain for a freaking week. Sheesh!

Deadliest Catch starts again this week. I am super excited to watch while at the same time I know I am going to be in for a freaking boo hoo fest. They were filming the season when Captain Phil died and I know they are going to show it and the aftermath. After all he told them to. I loved the poor guy. And I am the worlds biggest boo hoo baby. That combo is going to make for some tears during this season.

This week is the honeys birthday and our anniversary. 20 years of dating. Yes, you read that right. TWENTY! Holy crap that is a long time. People ask me all the time when we are going to get married. Around year five that was pretty much all I wanted. Now.... Now I don't think it is. I am comfortable with the way things are. If I needed to I could just walk out the door no strings. You can't do that with a marriage. I guess I need to figure out some presents.

I was looking at my kindle last night. I have read 39 books on it since I got it in December! And that doesn't include any paper books I read. And since I am reading horror in paper form that is a lot of books! I really love that damn kindle. It has to be one of the best presents I have ever gotten.

Can I just do a little happy dance here? My Sharks are the number one seed in the hockey playoffs! WOO HOO SHARKS! I am trying to figure out how in the heck I can get playoff tickets. I love me some Hockey!!!!!!

In the past two days I have had three dreams. Each dream was about a different ex. One was a holy shit get the freaking hell away from me you psycho dream. The next two were a little different. One had me walking hand in hand with an ex and the last one I had this morning. There was a point in the dream where I had my hands on both of his cheeks as I looked in his eyes and told him how much I missed him. How much I needed him. We started walking back to where my family was and the whole area was devastated. Everything was falling apart. It looked like an abandoned town. When we could see my family in the distance they were all shooting guns and the ex turned to me and said I hope they don't shoot me. I remember smiling at him, reaching out my hand to him and then waking up.
I have no idea why I am dreaming of ex's. Weird.

My cat Yeti has decided that my pillow is no longer the best place in the world to sleep. My head is. I cannot tell you the number of times I have woken up to a cats head on my cheek purring away. Or the number of times she has walked up my body as I watch tv only to lay down on my chest and put her head on my chin while purring. Ummm... can't see the tv cat! It is rather sweet but a little odd too.

I am LOVING having my own computer! I can sit here and do what ever I want without worry that he will kick me off to look something up.

And last but not least. Remember when I told you a random cousin found me on facebook. A cousin I had no idea I even had? Well he sent me a picture of my grandmother. The picture was of her and her first husband a few weeks before they were married. She was 18 years old. I have never seen her like that before. So young. It was kind of strange to actually see her that way. But she was beautiful.
I give you my grandma......