Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Well this sucks and other stuff

Here it is September 30th. That means the one month I gave myself to look for a estimator job is gone. Time for me to look for any work I am qualified for.
I have got to change my mind set that this is a bad thing. I have to start looking at it in a positive way. That I am about to embark on a journey into something new and exciting.
But I can't seem to do that.

I almost feel like a failure that in one month I had one interview. One.

Boo freaking hoo. I need to snap out of this self pity shit.

So I guess wish me luck as I start searching for everything and anything. Wish me luck that I will find a job quickly. Wish me luck that I will be happy when I do find one.

A friend of mine told me I needed to play farmville on facebook. Now I have hated facebook since I first looked at it. But you know what....Farmville is addicting! No seriously OMG addicting. I love all the graphics and the challenge of creating a farm that is my personality. It isn't quite there yet but I am working on it. But first I need to expand it for the second time lol. Now I spend quite a bit of time playing stupid games on Facebook.

Have you ever had a arguement in a car with someone? One of those disagreements that you can't escape because you are rolling down the highway? I had one with my father. Ok actually I had several but the one that made us drive the rest of the way in silence really pissed me off. He was totally pissed that he had to vote on the issue of gay marriage.
Yes I know this was months and months ago. *rolls eyes
Needless to say he voted no.

Then the arguement started. My father said something along the lines of "they shouldn't be allowed to get married."
I asked him very sweetly (always pay attention when I get super sweet... I am about to blow) Why?
He spouted off a bunch of crap at which point I turned to him completely pissed off and actually quite frustrated.
I asked him how he thought we (non gay) people were doing with marriage. He said fine. I said Bullshit. We have people on their 3rd, 4th and 5th marriage. Maybe we should allow them to bring back the sancitity of marriage. That maybe they would actually BELIEVE in the vows they took.
I asked him why they shouldn't be allowed to marry.
I was given a blurb about the bible. I asked him if God created everyone and he said yes. I asked him if God created everyone in his own image. He said yes. Then I asked him why he would create someone who shouldn't have the same rights as everyone else. I told him he didn't. That we as humans are the ones who make people different. That is why the "black" people were slaves. Because they were different and we as a human race are asses.
It all boiled down to him getting pissed at me for believing that a race of people should have equal rights. And him being astounded that I was willing to stand up for what I believe against him. That my mortal soul was in danger because I believe in equality for all.
That my mortal soul was in danger because I believe two people who love each other should be allowed to be married.

My mortal soul is in danger because I believe that? Unreal.

The God I believe in is all forgiving. Is loving. Is caring. Loves me and everyone else for who they are. My God doesn't pick and choose who to love.

I am not sure I want a part of a God that does either.

Anywhoooo... I miss reading your blogs. I have snuck in a few here and there but I have a lot to catch up on.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Grandma is still here

I am not sure how long she is going to be here. But it sure makes it hard to blog lol. But I wanted to let you know that I want to blog. I need to blog and I actually miss blogging.
Yes I know I blogged yesterday.

Anywhoooo.... more tomorrow.

Monday, September 28, 2009

I am ready for some me time here

You know having grandma here is wonderful. Spending time together makes me happy. But add a bit of pms and a whole bunch of "everything is sooooo different now" and I am ready for a break.
I truly hope as I get older I don't give myself permission to complain about everything from streets to buildings to food to seatbelts. I have noticed this in my dad and in my grandmother. It is actually to the point where I am kind of losing it a bit. I know I like to have a bitch fest every once in a while. But every day? Constantly? About drawing a wild card in a game where wild cards are the holy grail? UGH!!!
And you know I have a schedule at home. Things I do. With grandma here everything is off kilter.

WOW now I am the complainer! Hangs head in shame.

I guess I just need some time to myself. The honey is not used to having someone else in the house either so he is more irritable too.
I want to just be by myself for a hour or two. Or a day or so.
Wouldn't that be nice. All alone in some hotel somewhere with no one bothering you. Room service and a great book and a great view? I really need that. To bad it is not going to happen.

Anywhooooo..... Yesterday we took grandma to Monterey to see the pier and walk on the beach. It was the first time in a long time that I found myself playing in waves and listening to them roar in. I missed it I think.

Hmmmm maybe a hotel on the beach.......

Friday, September 25, 2009

Well I'm home

I have grandma with me which is going to make it a little difficult to post. She likes to talk lol.

In fact she likes to talk talk talk. (Wonder where I picked it up from *snort)

It does make it hard when you are watching something on tv and they are having "the conversation", that conversation that explains what happened, is happening or is going to happen and she wants to talk about slippers. UGH slippers

No, don't get me wrong I love having her here but I guess I am set in my ways.

Speaking of set in my ways..... I have some strong opinions on things. So does my father. Our opinions do not match at all. In fact they are so far apart I am not sure how he is my father.
Needless to say we had a few arguements when we went together this weekend.
More on that later. Grandma is calling.....

Monday, September 21, 2009

BARK!, Hockey!, Damn Underwire, Museum and Grandma

Doesn't my title make total sense? See I have lots to tell you about my weekend but none of them really fit together.

*warning graphic ahead lol*

Shall we start with Bark? My stupid drunk low class neighbors went on vacation.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahem...

To me this means no yelling in the backyard every night. No music played so loud you can't have a conversation with someone if you are sitting together in the backyard. This means no neighbors calling each other bitch and whore and cocksucker at the top of their lungs. This means no next door neighbor wife yelling at her husband to stop trying to take her clothes off or put it in her ass.

Seriously people I live next door to this and it happens daily. So when they go on vacation the honey and I do this dance of joy all over the house.

Anyway they left 3 days ago. After our dance of joy and our let's sit in the backyard and enjoy the quiet first night, we went off to bed.
They left their damn dog home. We had noticed the back door was wide open and had commented on that but we didn't realize it was because they didn't take the dog with them. The dog that was now barking its brains out. The dog that was not shutting up. ALL NIGHT LONG.

Yelling at it didn't stop it. Nothing would shut it up. Nothing! So I found myself walking around the house at 2:45 am unable to sleep.
The next day I was wiped out and I had a hockey game to go too. YAY HOCKEY!!

See how the title of my post is flowing along here?

Sazy and I hopped in the car the next day to head off to see the Sharks play hockey. We had a little time so we decided to go to the San Jose Museum of Contempory Art.
Well... we have decided we do not like contemporary art. Wanna see why?
Welcome to Broccoli on the wall

Or giant pile of crap made out of balloons (although we did like the moon painting)

or.. WTF is this chirping thing

Or how about a bunch of cones hung up by fishing wire supposed to be a ice flow

It was around this time that the underwire of my bra popped out of its little holder.

At first it was just annoying. I kept pushing it back and pushing it back.
We walked into a textile museum where they wanted us to pay $6 to see fabric stuck on a wall. We walked out without seeing the exhibit.
Poke poke, push push.
Down the street was the San Jose Museum of Art. They had put in a new exhibit. Ansel Adams the early years so we decided what the heck. We have a bit of time before the hockey game. And in we went.
I have to admit I was a little under enthused about the Ansel Adams exhibit. I found it a tad boring.
But in the other side of the museum we did see this....

Yup that is right GIANT animal cookies! Yup... made perfect sense right?

Poke poke, push push.

We had just enough time to eat before the game so we had some YUMMY sushi. It was after this that we grabbed a cup of coffee for the walk to the arena. And I noticed the coffee shop had a bathroom.
Underwire you are toast.
So I walk into the bathroom and I twist and turn and stretch myself in 70 different directions trying to get the underwire to go back in it's spot. I finally give up and go back out and meet Sazy. By this time I am sweating. She asks me if I tried to just take it out.
I looked at her.

Turned right around and walked back into the bathroom to take the damn thing out. Only it wouldn't come out. No matter how much I pulled it wouldn't come out. So I did what any normal woman in my problem would do. I pulled my shirt up to my neck. Ripped the damn bra off and started pounding the underwire against the wall to make it come out.
Around this time a damn horse came in the womans bathroom. You know what I mean people. One of those people who can't pick up their feet and it sounds like a whole herd of them are coming in.
So I stood there in the stall with my shirt around my neck and my bra in my hand wondering why the hell the damn thing wouldn't just slide out like every other bra that broke like this had done. After clomping woman left I gave up. I put the stupid bra back on and walked out at which point I realized I had never gone to the bathroom so I had to make a third trip back in.
So I felt as stupid as this guy must be....

I am blaming it on lack of sleep due to the damn barking dog!
We finally left the coffee shop with me a little sweaty and went to the hockey game.
Sharky came up behind us and gave the woman in the seat behind us some presents. Then proceeded to shower us with foam packing material. We honestly had a great time at that game and the shark's won!

By this time the damn underwire had poked me raw by the way and was sticking up about 4 inches.
When the game was over we walked into the bathroom where I reached over to push the underwire down and the stupid thing came out. Like butter. Like I hadn't worked on it with all my might earlier. Like nothing. Just out. UGH!
We headed for home with me no longer in pain. AWWWWWWWWWWWWW

So anyway this Tuesday I head up to go get my grandmother for a visit. I won't be back until Thursday so don't get worried if you don't see me post until then ok.

Oh and that damn dog... She has barked for the last three nights non stop. UGH

Friday, September 18, 2009

ACK Bees!

I have an issue.

In my back yard I have a wonderful bird bath. I love the sound the birds make when they take a bath. However lately the bees have been using the bath to drink. What started out as about 2 or 3 bees has turned into over a hundred.

They fly around back and forth to the bath all day long. It is fairly interesting to watch through the screen door.

Here is my problem. I am deadly allergic to bees.

Here is my second problem. I am fully aware of colony collape disorder and the fact that the honey bee population is down to a scary low number.

See in order to survive as a species we need these bees. In order to survive these bees need water.

The bees are finding water in my freaking back yard. At first I thought well why not just let the bird bath dry out. Then the bees will go somewhere else right. I let it dry one day. Can I tell you how sad and depressing it was to see a hundred bees walking around and around on the empty birdbath searching for water. Or going that evening and finding around 6 dead bees in there.

So the next day I filled it back up. I felt guilty. Like some kind of bee murderer.

So there is my stupid issue. I am allergic to the damn bees. But I feel too guilty if I don't fill the bird bath with water for them. I guess I could just go in the front yard for a smoke or something....

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Today I went on a interview

Today I drove off to an interview in a fancy new shirt not knowing if I actually wanted the job or not. But knowing that I needed a job in this economy and willing to take it if offered. Even if the money sucks.

So I arrived and looked around the super quiet office as I waited for the interview to start. I was shown around the warehouse and the office site and placed in a room to wait for the interviewer. It was a great interview. At least I thought it was. I was told that there were 3 other interviews and they would let me know either tomorrow or Monday if I got the job. I asked if at all possible they could let me know either way. Yes or no.

I just got a phone call.........

The answer is no. Sigh

I wish I knew what you were thinking

Have you ever looked at your animal and wondered what the heck was going on in there mind?

I swear my lab barks at anything. I would love to just look at her and ask..."Magpie what in the hell are you barking at? Seriously dude you are staring at a wall and barking. Or a bush that had been in the yard since you have lived her. Or a bug. Please SHUT UP!!"

Bird the German shorthair is just as odd. I would love to ask her a few things too.
"WHY, must you run as fast as you can out into the backyard only to start creeping like you are stalking something? Why can you not look at me directly if you stand on my knees for attention? Why do you run around the yard whining? But you only whine if someone comes outside?"

To the white cat:
"Ok I like sleeping with you but why can't you walk up the side of my bed instead of using me as a walkway? It is really hard to sleep when something walks across your head. And why must you meow the entire time you are walking on me?"

To the grey cat:
"Can you please explain to me why you pick certain days to not use the litterbox? Why you crap on the bathroom rug instead? Or the dog bed? You go in the litter box every other time."

On the job front: Got to get ready for my interview now. Talk to everyone later.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Through the ages

You know I as get older I can look back and see better. I can see where things went wrong. Or right. I can see where I should have paid attention. I can see life changing.

For example:

In your 20's

These are the me years. These are the years when you are completely blinded. Where everything is all about you. You are always right.
It is the how good do I look phase. Where you can't see how pretty/fit/sexy you actually are. Where you have to do everything in your power to look better. Even if you end up looking like a stick person.
It is the stage where an older person will try to give you advice and even if it is great advice you really don't listen. Why? Because no one is living your life so they can't possibly have good advice that fits you.
This is the all about me phase. The phase where you blindly go into problems that if you had just taken a step back and actually listened to those older people you would not walk into them.
This is when your friends and most likely yourself get married. When you go to wild parties.
The 20's are all about you baby. You are almost perfect. No one else is.
I wish I could live my 20's over.....

In your 30's

This is where you honestly start coming into your own. Where you start growing up. Where you begin to actively seek out advice from older people because you realize they actually know what they are talking about.
This is where you start planning your life. Where you really want to live. What you really want to do.
This is where major purchases become common place. Should we buy this house? Should we buy this fridge even though it is more expensive and you decide yes. Because quality counts.
This is where all your friends start having babies or have toddlers at home.
This is where people get divorced because they went into a relationship not knowing how to compromise. Or they get bored. Or a partner gets a roving eye.
This is where you realize that having a relationship is actually work. Where you decide if you are willing to work at it. Or if it is just to hard.
This is where long term friends move away and new friends are hard to come by.
I wish I could live my 30's over....

In your 40's

Here is where I am. Yes I am only a few years in but I have learned a few things all ready.
This is where you start worrying about your health more seriously. Where that mole on your arm needs to be looked at by a doctor because you think it is not quite right. Where you have to get yearly tests for things that are seriously scary. Tests like mamograms or prostate exams.
This is where you notice changes in your older relatives. You see them slowing down. Aging more rapidly.
This is where DEATH becomes truly alive. Suddenly people who you have known all your life are dying often. This is where the older generation starts to disappear. This is where some of your older friends may pass away suddenly.
This is where you learn fear.

I wonder what I will learn in the 50's.

Monday, September 14, 2009


I am so excited. I am off to my first hockey game of the year on Saturday.

There is something so exciting about walking into the arena. The energy level in that place pours into your pores and makes you light up.
You have to get there early to watch this!

There is nothing more ummmm interesting to watch then a goalie warming up. The moves and positions that they put their body into make your heart start pounding.

Then they start to play.

Go get um Boys!!!!

So Saturday.... It's HOCKEY time BABY!!!!!!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

The magazine hunt

I want to get a magazine in the mail once a month. I really want that happy jolt of seeing it and reading it.
However I seem to be in a inbetween thing. I don't have kids. I am older then Cosmo or Glamour magazine. Seriously those two magazines have me rolling my eyes at half the stuff in them.
I don't want a only cooking magazine or gardening or home furnishing. I don't want a cat or dog or fix it up type magazine.
I want a magazine for a woman like me. A long term relationship, no children, homebody who is past the clubbing, seeking a mate, dress in super short cute clothes phase.

So I decided to do a test. I went out in the past week and bought 5 magazines. Ok I borrowed one and had the honey buy me two so in actuality I only bought 3.

I bought "women's" magazines. And I felt old. I felt really old. Like grandma moses buys magazines old. How stupid. But I have only seen these magazines at older relatives house and now here I am... buying them.

I bought the following: Redbook, Better homes and gardens, Woman's day, Family circle and Ladies home journal.

See why I feel old. Sigh....

I have read the Better Homes and Gardens. That is not the kind of magazine I am looking for. It did have a few good recipes but it was mostly furniture and plants. Not what I was looking for.

I read the Redbook. This one has the most potential so far. It had advice and cute articles. A little clothes. A little furniture. A story. Recipes. It wasn't bad at all.

I still have to read Ladies home journal, family circle and Woman's day.

Anyone else got any advice on what magazines are good? The kid across the street is doing a magazine drive for her school and I told her to come on Monday and I would order one. Hopefully one of these are IT. If not that Redbook was pretty darn good.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Never Forget

I feel I should warn you. There are pictures in this which may be disturbing. I feel they are part of my history and yours but you may not want to remember.
I do. I think remembering is very important.

September 11th , 2001

I think my life changed that day. In fact I know it did. Even though I am on the complete opposite coast then the horror that happened. That didn't matter it still touched and ripped at my soul.
I was unemployed at home sleeping when the honey called me. "Get up and turn on the tv"
I did. Half asleep and not understanding why he would want me to turn on the tv. I was greeted by this sight.

There was a point during this that my eyes opened fully and my heart started breaking. A point where I just couldn't not cry. Images of that day are seared into my soul.

Images that are burned into me forever. Something snapped for me. Something took my calm and made me wish for vengence. Without thought for innocent lives. I didn't care. Look at how many innocent lives were just taken.
The people were so.... so very strong. They were walking though horrors I hope none of us ever know. The sounds alone that day had to be horrible. The beeping of the lost firefighters and police. The thuds of the bodies as they hit.
That is one of the most horrifying sounds I have ever heard by the way. And by the time your brain actually connects and you realized what it was, you flinch and weep each time you heard it.
The people were horrifed but my god were they strong.

I have since calmed down a bit. I no longer want vengence without care of innocents but I have not forgotten and never will forget.
We pulled together as a nation. We met our neighbors. We hung flags.

We united in a way I think they didn't expect us to. I am glad.

I made a promise to myself that day I sat outside with the silence. The silence of no planes in the sky. I promised myself not to forget each moment. To keep that feeling and memory alive. To find some way to honor the dead I did not know. And I have honored them. I will continue to honor them. I will not forget them. I feel in my heart that I owe it to them not to forget.

So if you have a second today. Just a moment if you will... take it to think about the loss we had that day. Take it to think about the strength we had that day. Take it to remember the bravery that happened that day. Don't let them fade away into nothing but a textbook blurb.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Irrational and rational fears

I decided to do another writer's workshop over at Mama Kat's.
The prompt was Scaredy Cat.

I have a few fears. A few that don't make any sense at all and a few that are normal to society. I don't choose to be a slave to these fears but man am I ever.

I am deathly afraid of heights. I am so afraid I can't even stand on a chair without my legs wobbling. I have frozen in place with my fingernails digging into the plaster and had to be removed from where I was. I honestly lost the ability to move.
I can fly in a plane without a problem, but give me a floor to ceiling window on a upper floor of a building and I burst into sweat within five feet of it.
There is this strange sensation that I get as I get close to a cliff. (height) It is like my body is going to throw me over. Not that I have any desire to get even near the damn thing but my body is a traitor! I don't know where that comes from but I sure wish it would go away.

As I have gotten older a fear has made itself known to me. One that I never had before. One that I have no idea where it came from. One that I realize is completely stupid and unreasonable but one that is there anyway.
If I go swimming in a lake with murky water I start getting the overwhelming fear that I am going to put my foot down on a decomposing body.
I KNOW! Ewwwwwwwwwww!
I have not seen a decomposing body in a lake. I have never watched someone be dragged from a lake. No body has ever been pulled from any lake I swim in that I am aware of. BUT as I get older that fear becomes more potent. I can feel my skin begin to crawl as soon as my toes hit the water. I can vividly imagine exactly what it will feel like and what my reaction would be.
I hate this fear.

Then there is the stupid fear. The one that makes you feel like an idiot. You know that turn off the light at the end of the hallway only to realize that the hallway is now pitch black and you have to walk through it. So instead of walking through it you actually run the length of it only at the end you slow your stupid self down so it looks like you walked down the hall. Even though in your head you know you sounded like a herd of elephants as you ran. This could happen anywhere. The garage, kitchen, hallway, bedroom. Random stupid fear.

Now this one takes a bit of explaining. I fear death. Not how am I going to die. Not what happens after I die. Not what comes before you die.
I fear that actual moment that your body gives out and you die. That moment your body gives up it's fight to live. That single moment between life and death.
I have seen this moment. I have held my grandmothers hand as she passed away. I have been in the vets office as I had a dying cat put to sleep. In both cases that moment... that single moment of death was horrifying. The struggle and the fight the body puts up to live and the soul puts up to go. Or the other way around.... is pure horror. Pure fucking hell. I fear that. I fear it a lot.

Hmmmm there are a lot more fears but I think I got a little ummm depressing here!!! Sorry!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

9 things for 09/09/09

For some reason my brain just wasn't in blog mode today but I decided to do something a little different.
I decided to tell you 9 things today in honor of the calendar. Sounds boring right? I hope not lol.

1. Today I found the holy grail of frozen pizzas. It was one of those purchases you get just because it is on sale for a great price and you know there will be a point you just want to nuke something to eat really quickly. I took this out of the box, nuked it and sat down to eat. The first bite had my eyeballs rolling back into my skull and my tastebuds doing a dance of joy. Who knew that you could get a "I just got back from the pizza parlor" pizza taste out of a frozen box pizza! I was seriously shocked at how good this pizza was. So go get one!

2. I am a TVaholic. Ghost hunters, Ghost whisperer, So you think you can dance, Chopped, Iron chef, Warehouse 13, American idol, Lost, Heroes, Deadliest catch are just a few of the shows I like to watch. There are oh so many more!

3. Horror is my thing. There is nothing better then a great horror book or a great horror movie. Now I am not talking about slasher horror. To me that is kind of boring. Jason style horror is dull. I am talking monsters or ghosts or that creepy feeling that crawls up your spine and makes you nervous to go in the dark. I am a member of two horror boards. I am also a member of two horror book of the month clubs. LOVE HORROR.

4. I am also a Bookaholic. There is never a point where I do not have a book I am reading. In fact I make it a point to carry two books with me at all times because you never know when you may finish that first one and I don't want to have to resort to reading the car auto manual....which I have done and it sucks. I would say 80% of my reading material is horror while the other 10% is paranormal romance. Gotta love shapeshifter passion lol

5. I love to cook. Seriously LOVE to cook. And I am pretty damn good at it actually. The problem I have is following recipes. I will print out a recipe, start to make it and decide it needs tweaking. So I tweak it. I can't help myself. I need to put my own twist on what ever I am cooking. And please keep me away from the cooking utensil aisle in the store. I can stand there for an hour and fondle the spoons or shreaders. I love that aisle.

6. The grocery store is my friend. I am not your normal woman. I cannot stand to go clothes shopping. In fact want to see me lose my temper? Take me clothes shopping. But take me to a grocery store and I can spend hours in there. I like to walk up and down each aisle and look at all the unique food items. I have no idea what some of them are so I will read the back and determine if I could use it in some way. I love grocery shopping. LOVE LOVE LOVE it. To bad it is getting so much more expensive lately. Sigh. (((((cereal box))))

7. What in the hell is wrong with the people at Costco? Costco is another place that pushes my limits. It is like a person walks into Costco and suddenly they no longer see any other person in that store. They will walk right in front of you as you look at the 400 pound box of walnuts. They will stop dead in the middle of the row with their cart diagonal so you can't get by. They will go the wrong way. You know that the right hand side goes one way while the left hand side goes the opposite. Why would it be any different in Costco. I hate Costco but they have a great deal on dog and cat food.

8. Halloween... oh sweet wonderful Halloween. My favorite holiday in the whole world. Nothing compares to the decorations. The candy. The one day where you can dress as weird as you want and no one will bat an eye. I have not missed dressing up for Halloween ever in my 41 years of life and do not ever plan on not dressing up. It drives the honey insane because he is very ummm conservative. I love that I can put tombstones in my yard. Spiders and webs outside. Skulls and Skeletons inside. I love the whole feeling of Halloween.
However.... I am really sad for the children now a days. When I was younger we would grab a pillowcase and run our little asses off to fill it with candy. Now we are lucky if we get 5 - 10 kids at our door. I feel like we are ripping the good things about childhood from children. If you don't want them to eat the candy they get buy a bag of candy to replace what they got with. Let them experience the joy of running in a sweaty mask. Going up to doors and saying trick or treat. Let them be children for god sake. And no.. going to the mall is not the same.

9. I hate facebook. I have a facebook page that I want to delete. However when I signed up I added a bunch of friends so now I feel guilty about deleting the page. Which is stupid because I never go there. But still I feel guilty. I really really do hate that facebook page.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

What is my issue with money?

Seriously what the hell is my problem. When I get a paycheck a week I have extra money but if I get a paycheck every two weeks I am dead broke almost 5 days before payday.
Let me give you an example.
At my last job lets pretend I was paid $100 weekly. By the time the next payday came around I could have anywhere from $20 to $40 left over out of that hundred. And I pretty much spent willy nilly.
Unemployment is every two weeks.
So now lets pretend I get $200 for two weeks. Which is the same as I was getting weekly (not really unemployment is less but anyway but this is pretend anyway lol...)
So because I know I have to be incredibly careful with my money I am. Except almost a full week before I get "paid" again I am out of money. Now I know I haven't bought anything extra. I haven't gone on some kind of spending spree. I am doing the same thing as I was doing when I got paid weekly only I am bargain shopping now.
So what in the hell is happening to my money? What am I doing wrong? There is something seriously wrong here. It scares me to run out of cash. I don't want to touch the emergency fund which by the way is a really really really sucky emergency fund. But a week or a few days before "payday" I am broke.
I don't understand this at all.

On the job hunt front I had that phone interview last Friday. I haven't heard back from them. I am not worried about it though since they called me for my interview almost 3 weeks after I applied. Besides I don't want it. I am sending don't call me vibes towards the phone.
But if they do call... and I do go to a interview.. and they want to hire me. I will take the job. In the past week I have read nothing but horror stories regarding the job market in the Bay Area. People who have been out of work for almost a year. People who sent out 2000 resumes and have gotten 20 interviews. It is scary out there and having a job is better then not having a job. So yes... I would take the job even if I think it pays to little.

I am hoping I don't have to make the choice. Although from what I just typed I guess I did all ready make that choice.

Saturday, September 5, 2009


So I had my phone interview yesterday. They sent me a product data sheet one hour before and told me to study it. They wanted to know how I did with data extraction. I think I did pretty good. But you never know right.
This morning I sat down with a calculator and determined money if I were to be offered the job. (Of course I would need to go to a in person interview first) I would be making $42 dollars more a week then I currently do on unemployment. Is that worth it? I would be spending that amount just on gas a week. Sigh... I have no idea.
I wish I had some kind of magic wand thing that would tell me yes or no.

By the way did you know that there is a squirrel out to kill me?
No seriously it is.
That little cute fuzzy sweet looking squirrel sits on top of the telephone pole in my backyard eating fruit. It is fun to watch. But lately it has taken to dropping that fruit into my yard. Not only into my yard but pretty much right onto the chair I sit in when outside. Half ripe fruit dropped from the top of a telephone pole hurts like a bitch when it hits you let me tell you. And I swear I have heard that damn squirrel laughing.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Guess what?

I have a phone interview today! Oh yes I do. Of course this interview is with the one job that I hemmed and hawwed about actually applying for.
Because it pays $4.22 less then my last job an hour. Because it is a lot farther away from my house and gas is expensive.
But... it has some bonuses too. It has a 401k which my last job didn't have. it is in the same field that I love. ummm... that is all I can think of LOL

Anywhoo... the phone interview is today at 4:30. Wish me luck or bad luck depending on if you think I should consider taking this job.
I will say that I feel better just knowing that my resume can suck people into calling me!

Now... for a little bit of my humor which will probably alieanate a few of you. But if you read about who I am you know I have a off sense of humor.
You may need to click on the picture to get the whole effect... stupid picture cutter offer.

Yes I am going to hell for posting this one. But come on it is funny right?

Still going to hell...

This was just funny to me.

And this one.... *snort

hee hee hee

This one though... FUNNY!! Baby goes through tunnel

Ok enough of that. It was just some stuff I found yesterday that had me giggling.

I wonder if offered if I should take that job.... hmmm.... INTERVIEW FIRST sheesh.. Way ahead of myself here. lol

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Another quick confession

I have no idea how people are posting responses to comments I make in their blog in the comments section. That is why I have not commented back to anyone.

Confession, confusion and pain

So first off let me make a confession here. Most of the pictures on this blog are kidnapped from google images. Why you ask? Well it goes like this.

Me: Hey I am so excited about today did we bring the camera?
Best buddy Saz: I thought you brought the camera?
Me: I didn't bring the camera. I thought you were bringing the camera.
Saz: Well, maybe it is in the truck.
Me: Nevermind.. We will remember it next time.

Only next time we don't remember it either. So the pictures you see are what we saw but not from our camera. Well that was a strange sentence wasn't it?

Also today I had to go to an appointment set for me by unemployment. Here it is:

Me: waves to lady to let her know I am here.
Lady: Come in
Lady: you have your passport and drivers license.
Me: Yes. *hands them to lady
Lady: *writes down passport stuff on paper
Lady: Ok that concludes this appointment
Me: What?
Lady: We are done now. Here is a piece of paper that you can look at. Have a nice day.
Me: ummm ok.... *grabs keys and leaves

Want to explain to me how in the hell that is suppose to help me find a job? How do I get that job?

Ever have a day where you are not coordinated? A day where you should not touch anything hot, fragile, important? That was yesterday for me.
First I decided I was hungry and wanted some cup of noodles. Oh shush you know you like cup of noodles!
So I boil a bowl of water in the microwave and get ready to pour it into my soup but instead of going into the cup it pours directly over the back of my hand. OMFG that hurt so bad. Didn't stop me from eating it but damn that hurt.

Then later I pick up a bottle of soda. Only to have it slip out of my hands and slam on the floor. I swear to you I watched that stupid bottle fall in slow motion and waited for the giant plume of soda to coat my kitchen. Thank goodness the bottle didn't pop!

The third thing was just that finishing touch. That thing that made me want to pull the blankets over my head and hide for the rest of the evening was pulling out the garlic bread from the oven.
That damn broiled garlic bread.
I reached in with pot holders on my hands and grabbed the cookie sheet with the bread on it. I put that cookie sheet on two more pot holders on the counter. Sounds good right? I then removed the pot holders from my hand and put them in the drawer. As my head was bent I noticed the stupid regular bread plastic was touching the cookie sheet and beginning to melt. So.... I reach my arm over the cookie sheet to move the bread and WHAM! My arm landed on the side of the cookie sheet and pretty much felt like it caught on fire.
I pulled my arm back and looked in horror at the four inch puffy burn mark on my forearm. It hurt like a damn bitch. I actually got tears in my eyes. I ran it under cold water and sucked it up like a big girl and finished dinner.
Today I have a nice burn that is four inches long and 1/4 inch wide. Oh joy. Do you have any idea how many times a day your forearm touches or leans on something? UGH

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Fun in San Francisco

Yesterday my buddy and I drove up to San Francisco for the day. We started off at the conservatory of flowers. We expected to see a butterfly exhibit but that had ended and we didn't know it. But that didn't stop us from enjoying ourselves.
We walked through different rooms of plants and flowers stopping now and again to pet a few here and there. See my friend and I have this touch thing going on. We like to feel what we are seeing. It is one of the first times I have had a friend who is the same as me in that regard. It wasn't until we got almost to the end that we saw the sign... no touching. OOPS lol.

We then went off to the de Young museum to see the king tut exhibition and the other exhibits.

The King Tut exhibition was stunning. This is a wooden bust of him.

I have to admit that I was a little disappointed in the pictures of his tomb. It was like they just threw everything in there without care for how it looked or landed.

I understand that he died quickly and they pretty much had to put him into someone elses tomb but could they not have taken a little bit of care?

After the Tut exhibit we went walking through the rest of the museum. The first piece that really just rocked my world was this.

Now this picture does not do this sculpture justice. It is HUGE. This is all that remains of a baptist church that was burnt down by a arsonist. I love the fact that they took something done from hate and turned it into art. Kind of a giant fuck you to racist pigs. Bravo!

This next piece was made completely of guns and ammo. They built a church out of guns and ammo. Some peoples minds are pretty unique.

And this last picture made both of us stop and think WTF. I decided that it should be called dead dog with a garden growing from it. Some random man in a wheel chair called it the birth of imagination through reality. I am sticking with my description.

A little while after this we were kicked out of the museum. Not because we touched things we weren't suppose to... although we did....nothing fragile of course... but because the museum was closing. We didn't get to see half of the museum so we have to go back. Isn't that just horrible lol.

I so enjoyed the day. My friend and I are the same in a lot of ways. We both want to touch everything, move things, peek behind stuff, open stuff that says don't open, go places we aren't suppose to be, yack about stuff without caring about what other people think of us.
I am not sure this would have been half as fun with someone who got bored easy or with someone who didn't end up behind a glass exhibit with me just to see the back of things.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

SF and Blogging rules

Well in just a little bit I am off to San Francisco with my best buddy to go see the King Tut show. Along the way we are going to the butterfly garden and look around another museum. She took the day off so we could go play together. Gotta love a good friend like that! More on that adventure tomorrow.

And are there no rules for blogging? I am fairly new to this whole blogging thing and all ready have run across a few questions.

Like... are you not supposed to use names? Why the hell not? It is like reading some criptic story.
I went to the store with L and ran into G who told me that B & R were together.
Well what if you know two B's? Bob and Bill? What then?

If you are blog surfing... not sure that is what they call it or not... but you are looking at random blogs and come across one you enjoy reading.. you comment right? What is the comment line? How much can you say? This person obviously put it out there for the world to see so you can give advice right? Or make some kind of goofy comment right. When do you cross the line from comment giver to ass?
I found a blog I really enjoyed. I started commenting and about the 3rd or 4th comment I started feeling stalkerish. After all this poor person had no idea who I was and here I go blabbing all over the place. I didn't want to make someone uncomfortable so I posted a note. I got a really nice note back that I wasn't a stalker ( I AM NOT A STALKER LMAO!!!) But what if the blogger is not as relaxed as that blogger was. Where is the line. Should I shut up?

How open are you suppose to be? I am a very open person in real life and it only makes sense that I am going to be open in my blog. Is that supposed to be a no no. Isn't that the point of a blog to let it all hang out. I can't change who I am so as my blog name states you are going to have to "Take me as I am"

Anywhoo....I have been applying for jobs. No bites yet. And now... Gotta go to San Francisco now.