At what point do you just give up? I am pretty much ready to reach that. But then again I can't give up.
I have gone through every emotion known to mankind. Anger, hope, excitement blah blah freaking blah.
To be honest I have no idea who I even am anymore. I look in the mirror and think my god what happened to me. Everything that I had an interest in I really don't have an interest in anymore.
Ah crap here goes another stupid poor me post. I just can't do that anymore. I don't want pity. I don't want people to hear blah blah blah in their head. I guess I am just not quite ready to post again yet.
sorry.
Showing posts with label unemployed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label unemployed. Show all posts
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Monday, August 30, 2010
Interview on Wednesday
FINALLY another interview. I go on Wednesday at noon. I am confident that I have the skills needed for the job. The only issue is it is part time. I need to find out what hours and the pay scale to see if I would even be able to afford to take the job.
I need enough to pay my bills and my cobra. If it doesn't cover that I can't accept the job if offered.
I want to work more then 24 hours. I can't take a 8 hour a week job it just wouldn't be worth it.
So cross your fingers that I ace the interview and that it fits my needs!
I need enough to pay my bills and my cobra. If it doesn't cover that I can't accept the job if offered.
I want to work more then 24 hours. I can't take a 8 hour a week job it just wouldn't be worth it.
So cross your fingers that I ace the interview and that it fits my needs!
Friday, August 27, 2010
I realized something yesterday
As I applied to job number 8 for the day. I don't expect to get a job anymore. The number of jobs I am applying for has increased. Temporary agencies. Regular jobs. Retail jobs. I am applying to a minimum of 5 a day, mostly more, since I got back from vacation.
But yesterday it hit me. I honestly don't believe I am going to get a job. As I sent out my resume I felt nothing. I no longer check the answering machine as soon as I walk in the door anymore. I mean why bother? It is not like there is going to be a call on there. In fact yesterday I didn't remember about the answering machine until around 7pm.
Applying has just become something I do. Something that doesn't mean anything. No one is going to call me. Just like they haven't called me for the last year.
In over a year of applying I have had two interviews. One that led to that stupid three week job. Other then that... no phone calls. I can count on one hand the number of no thank you letters I have gotten.
My self esteem has taken a large hit.
It doesn't help the comments that you hear when someone asks if you have found work yet.
"You need to apply more"
"You don't have a job YET??"
"Your resume must be screwed up"
"You need to try to find a job in order to find a job"
"You just like staying home and getting paid for it"
"Aren't you even looking?"
"Try a temp agency/job board/networking" (like I haven't)
"Being on unemployment is like being on welfare. Once you get on it is easy to not try anymore. Don't you want a job?"
"You are not trying hard enough"
"Got a job yet?"
"Geez how long are you going to milk the system?"
Those are just a few. They hurt. But there is nothing more I can do to find a job. I look at all job sites daily including the temp agencies. I look at cities and county jobs. I look at company websites that are in my area. There are no jobs.
I don't expect to find one either.
It sucks.
So daily I will apply like it is a normal thing to do. Daily I will do what ever I do around the house while pretending that I will be hired some day. I hate this. :(
But yesterday it hit me. I honestly don't believe I am going to get a job. As I sent out my resume I felt nothing. I no longer check the answering machine as soon as I walk in the door anymore. I mean why bother? It is not like there is going to be a call on there. In fact yesterday I didn't remember about the answering machine until around 7pm.
Applying has just become something I do. Something that doesn't mean anything. No one is going to call me. Just like they haven't called me for the last year.
In over a year of applying I have had two interviews. One that led to that stupid three week job. Other then that... no phone calls. I can count on one hand the number of no thank you letters I have gotten.
My self esteem has taken a large hit.
It doesn't help the comments that you hear when someone asks if you have found work yet.
"You need to apply more"
"You don't have a job YET??"
"Your resume must be screwed up"
"You need to try to find a job in order to find a job"
"You just like staying home and getting paid for it"
"Aren't you even looking?"
"Try a temp agency/job board/networking" (like I haven't)
"Being on unemployment is like being on welfare. Once you get on it is easy to not try anymore. Don't you want a job?"
"You are not trying hard enough"
"Got a job yet?"
"Geez how long are you going to milk the system?"
Those are just a few. They hurt. But there is nothing more I can do to find a job. I look at all job sites daily including the temp agencies. I look at cities and county jobs. I look at company websites that are in my area. There are no jobs.
I don't expect to find one either.
It sucks.
So daily I will apply like it is a normal thing to do. Daily I will do what ever I do around the house while pretending that I will be hired some day. I hate this. :(
Friday, July 23, 2010
I'm a bitch and I have money coming in
WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!
It is a big relief. Funny how it totally matches with me deciding to pound the pavement and find some kind of retail job.
Ok Damn it... this is my blog... .where all my warts and wrinkles hang out right? Where I can be honest with myself. Where I can be honest with the 3 readers I have.
Here is where I sound like a bitch.... or a snob I guess.
I am sorry in advance for my snobby views that I can't seem to cure but have a feeling I am about to....
When I was young I started out in fast food like almost everyone else. I was damn proud of that job. I felt like an adult.... Then time goes by and you realize working at the fast food place isn't for adults. It is for teenagers just starting out in the workforce or elderly people who want to work part time
(Can you see the snobby coming out yet?)
I decided to join a temporary agency and gain some skills. I was so damn green they had me doing everything from pounding bolts into concrete in an abandoned warehouse to working graveyard at IBM making sure the monster printers that printed out papers all night long didn't jam or run out of paper to dialing for surveys to filing. Once I got the filing down they had me do receptionist duties. It was there that I began to learn to type. That I began to teach myself systems like word and excel.
Those 8 hour shifts where I was expected to do nothing but smile and answer the phone I spent pushing every button to find out what they did.
Pretty soon I started getting admin jobs.
Each time I went up in the ladder I got a sense of pride. Of fulfilment. I was doing this. On my own. Learning what I needed. I was kicking some ass.
I worked my way up to office manager. Me.. a unschooled hillbilly. Me a self taught woman! I was proud. And I was making good money. There were plenty of other jobs in between. HR. Payroll. Assistant to the president of a company.
Then how it happened I have no idea. I ended up at a job as a estimator for a awning company. The work was fun. The pay was great. The boss was the biggest dick on the planet. He read my emails. Work or private. Around three years into the job I called him on it. He did everything in his power to make me quit. I refused to give him the satisfaction. He was going to fire me or I wasn't going.
I know I know but I have a stubborn streak too.
I got sick. I called in and talked to my supervisor. Not the boss. Three days I was sick. On the third day I got a letter telling me I was fired due to job abandonment. Let's just say I fought that with the labor board and won.
Then after a few more little jobs I got the estimator position at the paving company.
It was like coming home.
Day after day I learned more. After a year my salary was more then I ever could have imagined making. I was so proud. So happy to go to work. I felt like I had finally made it. That I was justified in all the hard work that I put into learning what I needed to know.
That me little old me was able to pick up a set of giant blueprints and tell you exactly what was on them. How big things were. That I could read a contract. A CONTRACT! And tell you what needed to be crossed out or what could stay.
I felt as though I scratched and bled and fought my ass off to get to this point. To this salary. I was honestly happy with myself. Proud of myself.
Then the economy tanked.
Then I got laid off.
Now it has been a year.....
A year where the resume that I have so carefully crafted hasn't worked. A year where all my skills that I fought so damn hard to get aren't enough. A year where my self esteem has fallen so damn far and so damn hard I am not sure how to get it back where it was.
And now I contemplate getting a retail job.
I don't know how to explain this to you except how it feels in my head.
I feel I am taking a giant leap backwards. I feel that everything I worked so hard for was for nothing. That I am an idiot for thinking that I could "make it".
I feel as though I am stepping down. That I have to start over again. That nothing I did mattered.That I fought to hard to get above my station. I mean after all really did I expect to do better then most people in my family. Did my pride get to big?
Will I get the job if offered one.. yes.
But I may never ever mentally be the same again.
It is a big relief. Funny how it totally matches with me deciding to pound the pavement and find some kind of retail job.
Ok Damn it... this is my blog... .where all my warts and wrinkles hang out right? Where I can be honest with myself. Where I can be honest with the 3 readers I have.
Here is where I sound like a bitch.... or a snob I guess.
I am sorry in advance for my snobby views that I can't seem to cure but have a feeling I am about to....
When I was young I started out in fast food like almost everyone else. I was damn proud of that job. I felt like an adult.... Then time goes by and you realize working at the fast food place isn't for adults. It is for teenagers just starting out in the workforce or elderly people who want to work part time
(Can you see the snobby coming out yet?)
I decided to join a temporary agency and gain some skills. I was so damn green they had me doing everything from pounding bolts into concrete in an abandoned warehouse to working graveyard at IBM making sure the monster printers that printed out papers all night long didn't jam or run out of paper to dialing for surveys to filing. Once I got the filing down they had me do receptionist duties. It was there that I began to learn to type. That I began to teach myself systems like word and excel.
Those 8 hour shifts where I was expected to do nothing but smile and answer the phone I spent pushing every button to find out what they did.
Pretty soon I started getting admin jobs.
Each time I went up in the ladder I got a sense of pride. Of fulfilment. I was doing this. On my own. Learning what I needed. I was kicking some ass.
I worked my way up to office manager. Me.. a unschooled hillbilly. Me a self taught woman! I was proud. And I was making good money. There were plenty of other jobs in between. HR. Payroll. Assistant to the president of a company.
Then how it happened I have no idea. I ended up at a job as a estimator for a awning company. The work was fun. The pay was great. The boss was the biggest dick on the planet. He read my emails. Work or private. Around three years into the job I called him on it. He did everything in his power to make me quit. I refused to give him the satisfaction. He was going to fire me or I wasn't going.
I know I know but I have a stubborn streak too.
I got sick. I called in and talked to my supervisor. Not the boss. Three days I was sick. On the third day I got a letter telling me I was fired due to job abandonment. Let's just say I fought that with the labor board and won.
Then after a few more little jobs I got the estimator position at the paving company.
It was like coming home.
Day after day I learned more. After a year my salary was more then I ever could have imagined making. I was so proud. So happy to go to work. I felt like I had finally made it. That I was justified in all the hard work that I put into learning what I needed to know.
That me little old me was able to pick up a set of giant blueprints and tell you exactly what was on them. How big things were. That I could read a contract. A CONTRACT! And tell you what needed to be crossed out or what could stay.
I felt as though I scratched and bled and fought my ass off to get to this point. To this salary. I was honestly happy with myself. Proud of myself.
Then the economy tanked.
Then I got laid off.
Now it has been a year.....
A year where the resume that I have so carefully crafted hasn't worked. A year where all my skills that I fought so damn hard to get aren't enough. A year where my self esteem has fallen so damn far and so damn hard I am not sure how to get it back where it was.
And now I contemplate getting a retail job.
I don't know how to explain this to you except how it feels in my head.
I feel I am taking a giant leap backwards. I feel that everything I worked so hard for was for nothing. That I am an idiot for thinking that I could "make it".
I feel as though I am stepping down. That I have to start over again. That nothing I did mattered.That I fought to hard to get above my station. I mean after all really did I expect to do better then most people in my family. Did my pride get to big?
Will I get the job if offered one.. yes.
But I may never ever mentally be the same again.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Rain Rain go away
Well it has been raining since Sunday. That makes 5 solid days of rain with more to come. We needed it bad and I have totally loved the thunder and lightning storms we have had however, I am ready for some sunshine now lol.
Walking around the house with all the shades drawn and still having it look like twilight inside is getting to me. The constant darkness weighs on you. Not to mention I am beginning to grow webbing between my toes LMAO!
We do get two days of no rain on Saturday and Sunday but then next week is all rain too.
I just need to keep reminding myself that we need the water. We need the snow that is falling in the mountains.
Yesterday we had a tornado warning. A tornado! In Northern California! WTF. Lucky for us nothing came of it.
I still don't have a car. Well... I have a car but it doesn't work. We don't have a shelter to work on it under so it has not been fixed. I am beginning to wonder if it will ever get fixed.
I still don't have a job and I still haven't heard back from anyone. Frustrating. I am beginning to find some humor in job postings though. For example one I looked at the other day said this....candidate must have the ability to speak
English, Punjabi, Hindi and Urdu fluently.
Have you even heard of some of those languages? And the funny thing is most job postings are getting so picky like that. Or offering such a low amount of money for such a lot of work that people are getting screwed. Or they are part time with no benefits. UGH
I still don't know if I will get an extension on my unemployment. This week will be the last full check I get if I don't. The next check will be less then half and then nothing. Cross your fingers that they give me an extension or I am in a world of trouble here.
I cannot wait to get my W2 and do my taxes! I know that sounds weird but I always claim zero. That means I get money back from federal and state. Or just owe a tiny bit to state. However, this year half of the time I was on unemployment. They allow you to deduct for federal but not for state. So I think I will get a refund from federal but I have a feeling I will owe a bunch for state. Either way that little bit of money will help.
I read a prompt over at momma kats today that she wanted us to describe our blog in a sentence. I had also read on another blog that blogs fall into categories like funny, sad, serious, mom, frugal, and stupid, etc. I got to wondering what category my blog falls in. I have no idea lol.
Wow my blog is all over the board today isn't it?
Walking around the house with all the shades drawn and still having it look like twilight inside is getting to me. The constant darkness weighs on you. Not to mention I am beginning to grow webbing between my toes LMAO!
We do get two days of no rain on Saturday and Sunday but then next week is all rain too.
I just need to keep reminding myself that we need the water. We need the snow that is falling in the mountains.
Yesterday we had a tornado warning. A tornado! In Northern California! WTF. Lucky for us nothing came of it.
I still don't have a car. Well... I have a car but it doesn't work. We don't have a shelter to work on it under so it has not been fixed. I am beginning to wonder if it will ever get fixed.
I still don't have a job and I still haven't heard back from anyone. Frustrating. I am beginning to find some humor in job postings though. For example one I looked at the other day said this....candidate must have the ability to speak
English, Punjabi, Hindi and Urdu fluently.
Have you even heard of some of those languages? And the funny thing is most job postings are getting so picky like that. Or offering such a low amount of money for such a lot of work that people are getting screwed. Or they are part time with no benefits. UGH
I still don't know if I will get an extension on my unemployment. This week will be the last full check I get if I don't. The next check will be less then half and then nothing. Cross your fingers that they give me an extension or I am in a world of trouble here.
I cannot wait to get my W2 and do my taxes! I know that sounds weird but I always claim zero. That means I get money back from federal and state. Or just owe a tiny bit to state. However, this year half of the time I was on unemployment. They allow you to deduct for federal but not for state. So I think I will get a refund from federal but I have a feeling I will owe a bunch for state. Either way that little bit of money will help.
I read a prompt over at momma kats today that she wanted us to describe our blog in a sentence. I had also read on another blog that blogs fall into categories like funny, sad, serious, mom, frugal, and stupid, etc. I got to wondering what category my blog falls in. I have no idea lol.
Wow my blog is all over the board today isn't it?
Monday, January 11, 2010
Excuse me while I spew some frustrations
As many of you know I have been unemployed since the end of last July. That is almost 6 months. Six months of looking for work almost every day. Six months of applying to job after job after job. Sometimes one job a day up to six or seven in a day. During that time I have had one interview and received one sorry the job was filled response. Let's do a little pretend math and see how many it would be if I had just applied to one job per day. That would be 180 resumes sent out. And I know that I applied for more then that.
I am beginning to freak out a bit here. Looking for work is like working to find work.
My unemployment check has a dollar amount that you get to pull off of. It is the amount you made in the last quarter. So let's say you made $5 in the last quarter and your unemployment is a dollar. Every time you get a new check the dollar amount listed goes down the amount of your check. So the first week it would show that you had $4 left, the next check would show you had $3 left and so on. Well.... I have enough money left over for one more check and then less then half the next check. I am beginning to lose sleep over this. Seriously.
Everyone keeps telling me that I will get a federal extension. Well sorry but until someone official like the unemployment office tells me that I get one I have to go with the reality that my unemployment is about to run out in less then three weeks. RUN OUT!
That means no money what so ever coming in. Ummm I have bills.
This is honestly scaring the crap out of me. What in the hell will I do if it does run out. (picks up phone to call right now while typing)
Ok so far in just looking at the site for unemployment I think I am screwed. It looks like the last date to file for an extension was December 2009. But I will make the call.
Wow I just got one hell of a headache.
UGH they can't answer the question. They say I have to wait until the last payment to see if I get a extension form or get a denial form.
Anywhoooo...... needless to say I am worried as hell that I will not be having any money coming in.
Hopefully I will be getting a tax refund lol.
Back to the whole applying thing. I am getting frustrated in the sheer volume of resumes I am sending out and not hearing a damn thing. I know California has the highest unemployment rate in the country. I know that almost daily I read about another company here that is laying off hundreds or thousands of employees but I am still frustrated with my efforts. I understand that every job probably gets over a hundred applicants but that doesn't help my situation. It doesn't stop me from feeling inadequate. It doesn't stop me from just feeling like plain old shit.
I am lucky in some regards though. I live in a house with someone who can help if things get bad. I am not going to lose my home. Or lose my paid for car. (which of course is having I want to be broken fits right now). I am not going to starve.
The thing is even if my benefits run out and I have to lean on the honey for help. I honestly don't want to. I don't want to be in his debt even if that is only in my own mind. It makes me feel like the poor orphan who can't take care of herself. I want to take care of myself. I want to be self sufficient. But how in the hell can I do that if I can't find a DAMN JOB!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Sorry about the gloom and doom today but man I am losing sleep and tensing something bad lately.
I am beginning to freak out a bit here. Looking for work is like working to find work.
My unemployment check has a dollar amount that you get to pull off of. It is the amount you made in the last quarter. So let's say you made $5 in the last quarter and your unemployment is a dollar. Every time you get a new check the dollar amount listed goes down the amount of your check. So the first week it would show that you had $4 left, the next check would show you had $3 left and so on. Well.... I have enough money left over for one more check and then less then half the next check. I am beginning to lose sleep over this. Seriously.
Everyone keeps telling me that I will get a federal extension. Well sorry but until someone official like the unemployment office tells me that I get one I have to go with the reality that my unemployment is about to run out in less then three weeks. RUN OUT!
That means no money what so ever coming in. Ummm I have bills.
This is honestly scaring the crap out of me. What in the hell will I do if it does run out. (picks up phone to call right now while typing)
Ok so far in just looking at the site for unemployment I think I am screwed. It looks like the last date to file for an extension was December 2009. But I will make the call.
Wow I just got one hell of a headache.
UGH they can't answer the question. They say I have to wait until the last payment to see if I get a extension form or get a denial form.
Anywhoooo...... needless to say I am worried as hell that I will not be having any money coming in.
Hopefully I will be getting a tax refund lol.
Back to the whole applying thing. I am getting frustrated in the sheer volume of resumes I am sending out and not hearing a damn thing. I know California has the highest unemployment rate in the country. I know that almost daily I read about another company here that is laying off hundreds or thousands of employees but I am still frustrated with my efforts. I understand that every job probably gets over a hundred applicants but that doesn't help my situation. It doesn't stop me from feeling inadequate. It doesn't stop me from just feeling like plain old shit.
I am lucky in some regards though. I live in a house with someone who can help if things get bad. I am not going to lose my home. Or lose my paid for car. (which of course is having I want to be broken fits right now). I am not going to starve.
The thing is even if my benefits run out and I have to lean on the honey for help. I honestly don't want to. I don't want to be in his debt even if that is only in my own mind. It makes me feel like the poor orphan who can't take care of herself. I want to take care of myself. I want to be self sufficient. But how in the hell can I do that if I can't find a DAMN JOB!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Sorry about the gloom and doom today but man I am losing sleep and tensing something bad lately.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Confession, confusion and pain
So first off let me make a confession here. Most of the pictures on this blog are kidnapped from google images. Why you ask? Well it goes like this.
Me: Hey I am so excited about today did we bring the camera?
Best buddy Saz: I thought you brought the camera?
Me: I didn't bring the camera. I thought you were bringing the camera.
Saz: Well, maybe it is in the truck.
Me: Nevermind.. We will remember it next time.
Only next time we don't remember it either. So the pictures you see are what we saw but not from our camera. Well that was a strange sentence wasn't it?
Also today I had to go to an appointment set for me by unemployment. Here it is:
Me: waves to lady to let her know I am here.
Lady: Come in
Lady: you have your passport and drivers license.
Me: Yes. *hands them to lady
Lady: *writes down passport stuff on paper
Lady: Ok that concludes this appointment
Me: What?
Lady: We are done now. Here is a piece of paper that you can look at. Have a nice day.
Me: ummm ok.... *grabs keys and leaves
Want to explain to me how in the hell that is suppose to help me find a job? How do I get that job?
Ever have a day where you are not coordinated? A day where you should not touch anything hot, fragile, important? That was yesterday for me.
First I decided I was hungry and wanted some cup of noodles. Oh shush you know you like cup of noodles!
So I boil a bowl of water in the microwave and get ready to pour it into my soup but instead of going into the cup it pours directly over the back of my hand. OMFG that hurt so bad. Didn't stop me from eating it but damn that hurt.
Then later I pick up a bottle of soda. Only to have it slip out of my hands and slam on the floor. I swear to you I watched that stupid bottle fall in slow motion and waited for the giant plume of soda to coat my kitchen. Thank goodness the bottle didn't pop!
The third thing was just that finishing touch. That thing that made me want to pull the blankets over my head and hide for the rest of the evening was pulling out the garlic bread from the oven.
That damn broiled garlic bread.
I reached in with pot holders on my hands and grabbed the cookie sheet with the bread on it. I put that cookie sheet on two more pot holders on the counter. Sounds good right? I then removed the pot holders from my hand and put them in the drawer. As my head was bent I noticed the stupid regular bread plastic was touching the cookie sheet and beginning to melt. So.... I reach my arm over the cookie sheet to move the bread and WHAM! My arm landed on the side of the cookie sheet and pretty much felt like it caught on fire.
I pulled my arm back and looked in horror at the four inch puffy burn mark on my forearm. It hurt like a damn bitch. I actually got tears in my eyes. I ran it under cold water and sucked it up like a big girl and finished dinner.
Today I have a nice burn that is four inches long and 1/4 inch wide. Oh joy. Do you have any idea how many times a day your forearm touches or leans on something? UGH
Me: Hey I am so excited about today did we bring the camera?
Best buddy Saz: I thought you brought the camera?
Me: I didn't bring the camera. I thought you were bringing the camera.
Saz: Well, maybe it is in the truck.
Me: Nevermind.. We will remember it next time.
Only next time we don't remember it either. So the pictures you see are what we saw but not from our camera. Well that was a strange sentence wasn't it?
Also today I had to go to an appointment set for me by unemployment. Here it is:
Me: waves to lady to let her know I am here.
Lady: Come in
Lady: you have your passport and drivers license.
Me: Yes. *hands them to lady
Lady: *writes down passport stuff on paper
Lady: Ok that concludes this appointment
Me: What?
Lady: We are done now. Here is a piece of paper that you can look at. Have a nice day.
Me: ummm ok.... *grabs keys and leaves
Want to explain to me how in the hell that is suppose to help me find a job? How do I get that job?
Ever have a day where you are not coordinated? A day where you should not touch anything hot, fragile, important? That was yesterday for me.
First I decided I was hungry and wanted some cup of noodles. Oh shush you know you like cup of noodles!
So I boil a bowl of water in the microwave and get ready to pour it into my soup but instead of going into the cup it pours directly over the back of my hand. OMFG that hurt so bad. Didn't stop me from eating it but damn that hurt.
Then later I pick up a bottle of soda. Only to have it slip out of my hands and slam on the floor. I swear to you I watched that stupid bottle fall in slow motion and waited for the giant plume of soda to coat my kitchen. Thank goodness the bottle didn't pop!
The third thing was just that finishing touch. That thing that made me want to pull the blankets over my head and hide for the rest of the evening was pulling out the garlic bread from the oven.
That damn broiled garlic bread.
I reached in with pot holders on my hands and grabbed the cookie sheet with the bread on it. I put that cookie sheet on two more pot holders on the counter. Sounds good right? I then removed the pot holders from my hand and put them in the drawer. As my head was bent I noticed the stupid regular bread plastic was touching the cookie sheet and beginning to melt. So.... I reach my arm over the cookie sheet to move the bread and WHAM! My arm landed on the side of the cookie sheet and pretty much felt like it caught on fire.
I pulled my arm back and looked in horror at the four inch puffy burn mark on my forearm. It hurt like a damn bitch. I actually got tears in my eyes. I ran it under cold water and sucked it up like a big girl and finished dinner.
Today I have a nice burn that is four inches long and 1/4 inch wide. Oh joy. Do you have any idea how many times a day your forearm touches or leans on something? UGH
Friday, August 28, 2009
I have made a decision
You know this whole being unemployed crap sucks. You start feeling like you are less of a person. Like maybe you really weren't good at your job. Regardless of the fact that I was laid off due to the economy. You start to panic a bit. What if you don't find a job. What am I going to do since I can't even find listings for the job I do online or in the paper. What to do. What to do!
It also didn't help that my neighbor took great delight in telling me that if I apply online that only 3% of the time will they actually look at my resume. Thanks for that lovely bit of news.
Anywhooooo..
I have been in panic mode a bit. Should I take tons less money then I was making. Should I apply for admin type jobs even though they weren't my thing. I am qualified for them.
Funny how self worth is all caught up in your job and how much you make.
But I made a decision today. Did you hear all the cheering over that? *snort
I made a decision that I am only going to apply for jobs that I honestly want for one month. That means for the entire month of September I am only going to be applying for construction estimator positions.
Now this doesn't mean slacking off and just waiting for one to appear on craiglist or some other job site. Although if they show up on there I am going to apply too! This means actively searching out construction firms in my area also. This means sending my resume to those companies in a cold call type of way. Who knows maybe someone will take a gander and go "you know maybe we do need a new estimator".
I know I am taking a chance by not applying to all open jobs that I can do. But you know what? This is my life. I want to be an estimator. I loved that job. I was good at it. I actually found it fun for the most part. Why should I short change myself by automaticly looking for something I know I won't be happy doing.
Yes, the economy sucks. Yes, there are not many open jobs. Yes, I may be making a mistake. But it is my mistake to make. I don't want to short change myself.
By making this decision I felt like a weight was lifted off my back. I know money is going to be tough. Unemployment sucks. But on the other hand thank goodness I am getting unemployment! But this just seemed right to me.
Wish me luck!!
It also didn't help that my neighbor took great delight in telling me that if I apply online that only 3% of the time will they actually look at my resume. Thanks for that lovely bit of news.
Anywhooooo..
I have been in panic mode a bit. Should I take tons less money then I was making. Should I apply for admin type jobs even though they weren't my thing. I am qualified for them.
Funny how self worth is all caught up in your job and how much you make.
But I made a decision today. Did you hear all the cheering over that? *snort
I made a decision that I am only going to apply for jobs that I honestly want for one month. That means for the entire month of September I am only going to be applying for construction estimator positions.
Now this doesn't mean slacking off and just waiting for one to appear on craiglist or some other job site. Although if they show up on there I am going to apply too! This means actively searching out construction firms in my area also. This means sending my resume to those companies in a cold call type of way. Who knows maybe someone will take a gander and go "you know maybe we do need a new estimator".
I know I am taking a chance by not applying to all open jobs that I can do. But you know what? This is my life. I want to be an estimator. I loved that job. I was good at it. I actually found it fun for the most part. Why should I short change myself by automaticly looking for something I know I won't be happy doing.
Yes, the economy sucks. Yes, there are not many open jobs. Yes, I may be making a mistake. But it is my mistake to make. I don't want to short change myself.
By making this decision I felt like a weight was lifted off my back. I know money is going to be tough. Unemployment sucks. But on the other hand thank goodness I am getting unemployment! But this just seemed right to me.
Wish me luck!!
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