Thursday, February 17, 2011

Alive. Not happy but alive

At what point do you just give up? I am pretty much ready to reach that. But then again I can't give up.
I have gone through every emotion known to mankind. Anger, hope, excitement blah blah freaking blah.
To be honest I have no idea who I even am anymore. I look in the mirror and think my god what happened to me. Everything that I had an interest in I really don't have an interest in anymore.
Ah crap here goes another stupid poor me post. I just can't do that anymore. I don't want pity. I don't want people to hear blah blah blah in their head. I guess I am just not quite ready to post again yet.


  1. It's your blog and you should post whatever is on your mind. There is nothing wrong with sheer, raw emotion. At least your posting is authentic! Take care and post what you want when you're ready.

  2. I'm glad to read you. I've been wondering what happened to you and if you were OK.

    There are a couple of things you need to understand.

    1) Like Suzie said, this is your blog and you can say whatever you want.

    2) You're not helping anyone, least of all yourself, but bottling it up and not expressing how you are feeling.

    3) "Everything that I had an interest in I really don't have an interest in anymore." This is a CLASSIC symptom of depression! Significant depression, even. You NEED to get help. There are low/no cost resources available for therapy. You can get a prescription from your doctor for medication and Target has a $4.00 prescription program for people who need it. So there's no excuse for not getting the help you need.

    4) You have a whole bunch of people who really do care about you and want to know what's going on, even the bad stuff. It's NOT "blah, blah, blah"!

    Listen, I've been where you are, both the deep depression and the unemployment, and I know how hard it is to get going again, but you need to do something if you want to get out of this funk.

    Broaden your spectrum. Look for jobs in a whole different field than what you think you want. Look for any part-time job you can find, Starbucks, Target, The Mall, whatever. Give some serious thought to doing some Volunteer work. It may not pay you, but at least it will give you a sense of productivity and get you out of the house and around people again. And you never know, you may stumble into an opportunity you may not otherwise get.

    I KNOW it's easy for me to say and not so easy for you to do. And I know you feel like you've already done some of these things, but you can't give up. You have to keep going, keep trying and keep talking!

    I wish you well!

  3. This is your blog, post what you want. Even if its the same stuff. You need to get it out of your head. I agree that you are suffering from depression and you should find help.

    Not to minimize how you are feeling but there are many people out there in the same boat. The need for low income services for people with depression and other mental health issues has increased as has the number of places offering these services. You should call your county Mental Health Department to get information on providers in your area.

    Walmart also offers $4 prescriptions.

    Please take care of yourself!