So I am reading another blog that has writing prompts and I decide that one of them totally speaks to me so here I go.
List ten things you would say to ten different people in your life...if you had the hutzpah.
1. To my dad: Hey Dad I know that recently you just found religion. I am proud that you finally have made a choice in what you want to believe. However, do not push your idea of religon onto me. I have a fine relationship with God but my beliefs are a little less strict then yours. People who ram religion down other peoples throats lose points with me. I don't need you telling me my way to worship is wrong. If I wanted to dance naked by the light of the full moon while pouring sacred oil over my head for my religion you should be tolerent of my choices.
2. Also to my Dad: Recently there are only two things you talk to me about. Religion and Obama. I cannot tell you how tired I am of hearing how horrible Obama is. Of being handed papers that "prove" he is a awful person. Regardless of if he sucks or not let the man do his job. You do not need to write on your money about how he sucks. I know I didn't vote for him but I am hoping he does well. I am really really tired of hearing about Obama.
3. Mom: Could you please let me know why you always took my brother with you but left me at home? Why you go visit him when he lives over 4 hours away at least once a month but haven't visited me once this year and I live 20 minutes away?
4. Random grocery store person: HEY!! YOU!!! Yes I see you. I cannot believe how freaking rude you are. No seriously. There are quite a few of us in line here. Yes you only have like 4 or 6 items but that does not mean when a new line opens that you should be allowed to be first in line. We have all been waiting here longer then you. You really make me want to hit you with this bag of potato chips. Some day I am totally going to call you out. I will get the nerve to let you have it.
5. Random customer anywhere: GET OFF YOUR CELL PHONE!!! What in the hell is the matter with you. Did that stupid cell phone you seem to have surgically added to your head make you forget that that person in front of you is a human being. Just because you are on the phone doen't make you any more special then any one of us. Turn it off or tell the person to hold while Sally checks you out. I swear I see you just gabbing away on your phone not even saying hello to the human in front of you and I want to shove that phone up your ass. UGH
Hmmmm hostile much? oops....
6. PG&E guy: Excuse me. You know how you had to ring my doorbell because this month you needed to verify the meter? Remember I said I need to bring the dogs in the house and you said ok? Well when you left the back yard you had to go through two fences. Right? How hard would it have been to shut one of them hmmm? UGH
7. The ass kisser at my last job: Dude.. seriously did you know that we actually played a game with you? We would bet on how many minutes it would be from when the boss pulled up to when you would be in the office telling him everything that you had done so far. I can't forget winning when I picked one minute. How can you live like that? Aren't you embarrassed? How can you ask the boss if he would like his car moved and go home at night feeling good about yourself. It is just creepy.
8. Cats... HEY. What the heck is wrong with you? The litterbox is about one foot from where you last went to the bathroom. Did you forget about the litterbox? Did you have a accident? Do you even care? I DO!!!!!
9. The honey: I swear to goodness if you use the term womens work one more time I might have to kill you. How does everything in the house become women's work and working on the yard becomes mans work? I didn't make that rule.
10. Job market: Hello!!! I know we are in a recession here but I was just laid off and really would love to actually have a job. I enjoy working. How am I suppose to find work if there is none advertised anywhere? Should I be scared? Sigh