Friday, August 14, 2009


I have decided that there is something wrong with me. No really there is. Unmotivation. (ignoring all signs that it may actually be depression. Don't burst my bubble here ok)
Here are a few examples. Before I left on my cruise I had quite a few sites I visited daily. Actually lets admit it here more then once daily. Since I have been back I have visited this site and my main Lost site. Period. I haven't played any of the online games I played. I haven't wanted to visit any of the other chat sites. Heck I have a hard time feeling like doing anything.
I have worked on my resume. Do I feel it is done? No. Do I have the motivation to finish it up proper? no.
I have looked for jobs in my field. Nothing. How scary is that? Not one single job that I can sink my teeth into. In fact I sent out a resume today (YES the resume isn't perfect. Or even 100%) but it was to a job that doesn't fit what I want to do.
How do you go searching for your next job when your last job was the best job you ever had. That you liked your last job as much if not more then when you had started it. I know... Get over it.
My brain is telling me that constantly. Get over yourself.
Shit happened now deal with it. Deal with the fact that everything changed in less then three weeks.
I need to clean the house. Not mop, sweep, dust type clean either. I have started digging through those hidden areas where you plant stuff you don't know what to deal with. I still don't know what the heck to do with half the stuff I have found and I have TONS more to go through.
I need a job. I need motivation to not sit on my ass feeling sorry for myself. I need motivation to talk to the online friends I have made. I need motivation to figure out what kind of job I am going to start looking for. I need motivation to clean this mess. I need motivation to get up and put my make up on. Hell I need motivation to get dressed. SIGH

1 comment:

  1. i'm sorry :( ((((Jody)))))

    all i can say is that once you're motivated to do one thing, the rest should come.