Finally!

After three days of dialing dialing dialing the unemployment office I finally got through this morning. I had the honey wake me up at 7:30 in the morning so I could start dialing sooner. I was freaking determined to get an answer to the whole extension thing that has been killing me.
I think I was shocked when I got through to the waiting cue. After dialing about 200 times in the past three days to hear a different message was a shock to the system.
Then a actual honest to god woman answered the phone.

Me: "Hi, my name is Jody and I just ran out of benefits and I was wondering if I was eligible for an extension?"

Her: "let me check.... oh I see we just mailed your last check out and you have no money left"

Me: "yes...."

Her: typing "ok, so you haven't signed up for an extension yet?"

Me: "No, I am trying to see if I am eligible though. And if I am I want to sign up today if possible."

Her: typing " hmmm....let's see.... hmmm..... Ok you are eligible for an extension and I will file that today. This extension will last 20 weeks."

At this point I promptly burst into tears. Great giant monster tears. I had no idea that was going to happen and I for the life of me couldn't stop boo hooing.

Me: "sniff sniff, Thank you. sniff sniff" (all said in a gravely boo hoo voice)

(wow I am tearing up right now again for the third time today)

Her: "Don't worry you are ok. Everything is going to be ok"

I honestly believe this must have happened to this lady before. Other people must have had the same breakdown I did because her whole demeanor changed.

(Wow eyeballs are stinging AGAIN)

Ok I had to stop typing for a minute because I started to cry again. Whooo sheesh. It is one thing to have friends and loved ones tell you that you will be getting an extension and a whole different thing to have someone who is in a power to actually tell you in reality that you will be getting it.
I knew I was stressed about this but I had no idea how fully my body was included in that stress.
I had no idea in hell that I would break down into soul deep sobs over finding out I get an extension. I mean in my head that just sounds stupid. Cry because you didn't get it not because you got it. And to still see the power just typing that out has over me is strange. I should be jumping for joy not boo hooing like a baby.

Ok.. I can't type anymore it is making my nose sting and my eyeballs water.

Couple things

I was surpised to see that people didn't run screaming from yesterdays post. In fact some of your comments made me feel like hell maybe I am normal.
One of you asked how old I was. I am 42. A fact that stupid facebook seems determined to remind me of every single day on the ads.
42 year old woman get free Uggs. umm no
42 year old woman get free this or that. Dude QUIT telling me how old I am.

oooo sorry tangent LMAO!

And I have to agree with the stupid hair that now grows on your face comment. My face is NOT the place for random black hairs to start sprouting ok. And they freaking have babies. I hate them. I don't want to look like a damn man. And why do they have to seem to suddenly appear. I know I look at myself every day so how in the hell did that hair get to be almost a half an inch long?
I figure pretty soon this will be me only with black facial hair.


I even got a new person who posted. Love that. Now if I can find the time today to go read people that would be great.
It is garbage day. That means four million chores today. Why there are so many on garbage day I have no idea. And I had the stupid grand idea to wash all the bedding today.

Not mine thank god lol

OH!!! Let me tell you a little something that has me so excited I could pee my pants. LOST IS COMING BACK ON!!!


What seems like 4000 years ago I saw a commercial for a new show. It had a plane crash on a island inhabited by a monster. I thought WOO FREAKING HOOO monster!! And I tuned in.

Who knew that all these years later I would be getting ready to watch the last season.

As big of a love affair as I have with this show I also have a hate affair. I am more then ready for it to be over while at the same time very sad that it is ending. I blame the long waiting periods between shows and seasons for my ready to be over feelings. Don't get me wrong... the love is still fresh too.

I will say this... if this show ends with everyone getting off the plane in LA like none of this ever happened or if it ends by the plane crashing on the island and the whole thing starts over again due to a time flip I might throw the remote through the tv.


Lost brought me together with my best friend too.


How can you not like something like that?

Anywhooooo time to make some spaghetti sauce for dinner in while.

Getting older sucks

I thought about posting this and then thought about not posting this but decided what the hell. So this post just may have a little to much girly information for some but it is my blog.

I remember sitting down with my grandmother one night bitching about the Italian hair I have on my legs. That super strength, black, ruins a razor in one use hair. The hair below my knee is bad enough but the hair above my knee UGH. She stopped me cold with a comment though. She said and I quote...."Don't worry as you get older all the hair down there is going to fall out"
Ummm what?
She proceeded to tell me that when I am older I am going to be bald as a babies ass.
Well isn't that something to look forward to? Not.
Why couldn't the hair on my legs fall out instead? I would be perfectly happy with baby ass smooth legs.

There are a few other issues I have with getting older too. Like the whole droopy point to the floor bullshit. Droop all you want girls but would you mind still pointing at least straight? Seriously by the time I am 60 my damn nipples are going to be dragging the ground getting road burn sheesh.

*told you this was a too much info post....

I don't mind the wrinkles. I earned every line. Although I with that they would stay away at least another 10 years or so.

But the thing that bothers me the most about getting older is the way my periods and pms are changing.
I have always had a mild form of pms. Nothing horrible. Just a bit irritable. But as I get older... oh man as I get older this pms shit is growing bold and bad.
I am turning into one mean fucking bitch let me tell you.
For example the other day I am at the grocery store. Now I love the grocery store for some reason. I could spend two hours in the walking slowly up and down the aisles looking at all the stuff. But... the other day I am in the grocery store and I walk up to the soup. I am standing there looking for some new can of soup to try and a woman walks up next to me to look at the soup too. Normally this is fine. I mean other people shop too right?
However within one minute my shoulders were tight. She was in my personal space. Which by the way had grown from that normal foot around you to probably five feet around me. Within another minute my jaw was clenched and my eyes were beginning to squint. All I could think in my head was BACK OFF BITCH. I honestly hated that damn woman. For no reason at all.
Then the man walked up to my other side to look at the soup.
It was like some kind of mental bomb went off. I was literally cussing in my head.
"what the fuck! How the fuck many people need god damn soup!" to just put down the nicer ones. At that point I grabbed my cart and left. ANGRY. With no soup.
Now at this point every person in the store became the enemy.
I have no idea how many people were burned by my eyes.
I was a completely different person then I normally am. Over soup!

That is one example of how my pms is beginning to take over my personality. And I can't stop it. And it just appears out of the blue. Up until that point I had been humming under my breath and very happy.

There are other changes as well. The whole sweating bull crap. I know it has to be perimenopause but still. Going to bed the few days before my period starts can be icky. Not each time but some times. I wake up hot as hell and sweat coated. OH JOY!

The whole OMG If you touch my boobs even with a envelope on accident they may explode stuff isn't fun either.

Then the actual starting. UGH. I know it signals the end of the drama, sweating and boob pain but....It means the other kind of pain. I have always had bad cramps. Sometimes to the point of not getting out of bed. But... as I get older. OMG as I get older they have turned into death cramps. Something that as I walk down the hallway can bend me over in pain. Something that feels like someone has their arm up there and has a handfull and is pulling down. I have wished more then once that I could reach up there and rip out my uterus.
Add to that the increase in flow...... UGH. The whole in 20 minutes after changing things I have to be careful when I stand up or it is on my feet shit sucks.
I know I know TMI lol

You know... I might embrace all this crap if I could actually have children. Instead I get all the bullshit and none of the good stuff. It pisses me off.

*wonders how many people she scared away today....

Yup

I have to admit to being a little frightened

I got my second to last unemployment check today. When you get it, it has two week columns that you fill out and then on the back fill out where you have applied. I have enough for one week that is to be mailed this weekend. The last week.... it is x'd out. Meaning I get no money except one week.
I have not received any extension paperwork. I have not received any denial either though. I am left to wonder if it comes with the last check which will be next Thursday. Or if I am just plain screwed.
I am pretty frightened right now.

Rain Rain go away

Well it has been raining since Sunday. That makes 5 solid days of rain with more to come. We needed it bad and I have totally loved the thunder and lightning storms we have had however, I am ready for some sunshine now lol.
Walking around the house with all the shades drawn and still having it look like twilight inside is getting to me. The constant darkness weighs on you. Not to mention I am beginning to grow webbing between my toes LMAO!
We do get two days of no rain on Saturday and Sunday but then next week is all rain too.
I just need to keep reminding myself that we need the water. We need the snow that is falling in the mountains.
Yesterday we had a tornado warning. A tornado! In Northern California! WTF. Lucky for us nothing came of it.

I still don't have a car. Well... I have a car but it doesn't work. We don't have a shelter to work on it under so it has not been fixed. I am beginning to wonder if it will ever get fixed.

I still don't have a job and I still haven't heard back from anyone. Frustrating. I am beginning to find some humor in job postings though. For example one I looked at the other day said this....candidate must have the ability to speak
English, Punjabi, Hindi and Urdu fluently.
Have you even heard of some of those languages? And the funny thing is most job postings are getting so picky like that. Or offering such a low amount of money for such a lot of work that people are getting screwed. Or they are part time with no benefits. UGH


I still don't know if I will get an extension on my unemployment. This week will be the last full check I get if I don't. The next check will be less then half and then nothing. Cross your fingers that they give me an extension or I am in a world of trouble here.

I cannot wait to get my W2 and do my taxes! I know that sounds weird but I always claim zero. That means I get money back from federal and state. Or just owe a tiny bit to state. However, this year half of the time I was on unemployment. They allow you to deduct for federal but not for state. So I think I will get a refund from federal but I have a feeling I will owe a bunch for state. Either way that little bit of money will help.

I read a prompt over at momma kats today that she wanted us to describe our blog in a sentence. I had also read on another blog that blogs fall into categories like funny, sad, serious, mom, frugal, and stupid, etc. I got to wondering what category my blog falls in. I have no idea lol.

Wow my blog is all over the board today isn't it?

Sweet Sweet Thunder

Currently where I live we are having a storm a day. It has been raining like crazy. This is the third storm in as many days.
Yesterday we had a beautiful thunder and lightning storm. We don't normally get those here.
There is something so very powerful about that type of a storm. Something that draws me to stand outside with my arms raised as I watch mother natures fury. It feels me with an incredible sense of well being and a energy I just can't explain.
Today we had thunder too. As I stood outside watching the wind whip the trees and the rain pouring down the light flashed and BOOM. There is such an incredible feeling that comes over me.
The hail started and the lights flashed and the thunder boomed and all I could do was stand outside this afternoon with a giant smile on my face and freezing feet.
There is a feeling in the air that is so different then a normal day.
I admit to Yahhh hoooing outside as it raged. I am sure my neighbors think I am a weirdo.
To me this is life at it's best. Watching the incredible display of mother nature feels me with joy. With energy. With awe.

On the downside my backyard has 5 inches of standing water that covers my entire yard. It is slowly beginning to creep up the patio towards my sliding glass door so that is something I have to keep my eye on.
And my living room window has sprung a leak. I have a towel on the sill for now.

I wish you could have seen my dogs when I put them out earlier. Romping through the new backyard lake up to their doggie elbows. They were jumping and running in pure joy. Then BOOM and they are at the back door begging to come back inside lol.

Well I need to go outside for a bit. Talk to you all soon!

Facebook is a funny thing

It started out with me hating it. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to work the stupid thing. Then I found the games and became addicted to many of them. A bunch of the games went bye bye too after I got bored. But I still play Farmville, Island Paradise, Happy Island, Treasure mania and a few others. They are mindless and fun.
Somehow I have a ton of friends. Over 60 actually. Out of those only about 10 are family or friends I have met in real life. The rest are people I have met online over the years. People I have actually gotten to know online. People I pretty much talk to every day. In fact some of them I have talked to for almost 6 years.
Some though (about 4 or 6) are friends of friends who just needed to be able to expand their farms lol.

Anywhoooooooooo.....

I have been cruising along with my happy little facebook world when I got a email on there from someone asking me if I was my dad and moms daughter. That he was my cousin.
A cousin I never knew existed.
So the first thing I do is call my grandmother to make sure this isn't some random weirdo. She lets me know that he is a real cousin. At that point I say to her how come I had no idea he existed. She explained but I didn't feel good about it.
See...she had been married to a man named Ralph. This was her first husband. My grandfather. They got divorced a long long time ago and I never met my grandfather or even talked to him before.
Ralph had a brother and this guy was that brother's son.
Confused yet?
Anyway he writes me a email, I friend him on facebook and we exchange real emails. He writes me telling me about his family. A family I didn't know existed. It was incredibly interesting.
Then he sends me a genealogy thing that has pictures of each family member. Wow! I was fascinated to see these people...... until..... until... I came to my grandfather Ralph.
See he died. I had no idea that he had died. At that point everything kind of stopped. You see all the things that could have been. You see the effort you should have made to get to know someone that you no longer have the chance to do. You feel bad even though you had never met him before. Even though he had never made the effort to meet you.... or even talk to you. You feel like you lost something.
I picked up the phone and called my grandma. I asked her why she didn't tell me that he had died. It got a little quiet and then she said she had no idea he had died. Wow...how awful I felt.
I wrote back to my cousin and said that I was surprised that Ralph had died. That I had no idea. He wrote back saying that Ralph's second wife had not wanted to let this family know and that it had always bothered him.
Why?? Why wouldn't someone let the children know. (yes my Dad and uncle Randy are adults but still they are his children)
So I wrote a letter to my step mom explaining about the cousin. Explaining about the email. Explaining about the death of my grandfather and how my dad didn't know. How my dad needed to know. I mean the man died in 2008!! WTF
The cousin sent me some pictures. He pretty much was the spitting image of my dad.

It is a strange feeling. A feeling of loss even though I never had it.

Meet my grandfather Ralph.....

My god I needed that weekend!

Friday when the honey got home he surprised me by saying he was going up to spend the night with his duck hunting buddies. I knew he was going duck hunting and that he might go up on Friday but he never let me know that it was reality until he got home.
As he packed up I could feel my insides doing a little jig. Home alone! How sweet. I am never home alone!
I let my friend Sazy know and we decided to go out to dinner. She had gotten some gift cards for outback steakhouse for Christmas and so off to Outback we went. We had to wait almost 45 minutes to get seated. By that time we were freaking STARVING to death lol.
We sat down and decided on our meal. Since the person who had given her the gift cards only does the best we decided to honor her by doing the same. We ordered with our empty stomach.
Crab stuffed shrimp to start with. Two bowls of soup, Steak and potatoes, Rack of baby back ribs and a side of king crab legs.
We scarfed down the shrimp and bread.
We wolfed down the soup.. and then noticed that we were kind of full.
Then the dinner came. The giant giant plates of dinner. We ate all of it. Groaning in agony towards the end. We were so full our eyes were crossing.
Then we had to stand up. I thought for sure that the food would settle but instead it seemed to expand.
Both of us were in pain. And we both went into some kind of food trance. We started to laugh on the way home. And laugh. And laugh until tears were coming out of our eyes.
I had grand plans of watching tv as late as I wanted. Of playing on the computer as late as I wanted. All without someone having a fit because I was doing so. But when I arrived home... UGH.
I played on the computer for a bit. I watched tv for a bit and then all I wanted to do was go to sleep. So much for my night alone LMAO!

The next day Sazy came over around 11am and we set off for our day of fun. We started at the bowling alley. Now neither Sazy or I have bowled in many many many years so we pretty much had no idea what we were doing. But we bowled two games and had a great time. I won one and she won one. And we both each got a strike. Woo hooo us!!
The next stop was a free museum that we hadn't been to yet. It was a nice museum but very forgettable art. There was an entire room of paintings by a guy who obviously loved row boats. We would stop in front of each of the abstract paintings and tell each other what we saw in them. This caused quite a bit of laughter too.
As we reached the end of the museum we saw the door to the bathroom down this hallway that ended in closed double doors. I started to go into the bathroom when Sazy says.... "Um there is a naked woman in there"
I looked at her and walked back to the door. Sure enough through the slit between the two doors I could see a woman standing there fully naked. It had to be an art class. This set Sazy and I off on a conversation about whether or not we could stand there naked in front of a room of random people.
The answer is no. No way would I stand there with my 42 year old droopy breasts and my pudgy belly hanging out for all to see.
When we were done we noticed we had a lot of time still. We decided to look up another museum. We found one that had a Picasso. A real Picasso. Neither one of us had ever seen one in person so we figured why not.
After a brief lunch we headed inside. It was fairly small and not very well watched. That is a disaster when they let in two people like Sazy and I who have a tendency to want to touch things.
The first room was all abstract. The second room was pretty much the same. Although there was a ceramic warthog that both Sazy and I stopped to look at. We found ourselves walking around the back of it to look at the ass at exactly the same time lol.
The next room had the Picasso. The incredibly boring Picasso picture and a ceramic plate he had made. But we saw a Picasso.
We head upstairs and on the way up I told Sazy that we had to touch the Picasso. When in our lifetime will we ever get that chance again. She totally agreed. So we looked around upstairs. Then we headed to the last area of the museum which was downstairs.
This area was wonderful. It had native American artifacts, religious artifacts and a hodge podge of other stuff. We wandered through the area. I stuck my head into a reed hut. I opened a drawer on a commode from way back when. We pretty much did everything we weren't suppose to do.
We did see a painting of a woman that the artist gave her a pretty hefty mustache. Poor lady.
Then we headed back upstairs to touch that Picasso. And we did. And we both laughed and laughed and enjoyed every damn moment of it. How many people can say they touched a Picasso (even if it was under glass)
Again we had a little bit of time left and somehow we ended up in this neighborhood that was filled with old Victorian houses. We drove around ooooing and awwwing for a while before we noticed that we were by the old cemetery where my grandmother was buried.
So we went inside and said hello to my grandmother and great grandmother. Then we proceeded to explore the old stones. And there were some doozies. Some incredibly stunning stones and monuments. Some sad baby stones and some beautiful carving work.
After that we headed for home.
By the end of that day I was feeling so much better. Revived and peaceful.
I needed that so bad.

Let's get a little more happy here ok?

Remember the hockey game I went to last week. (WOO HOO HOCKEY!!!)
I wore my jersey.....Over a sweater.....


Yup that created the OMG what a little head you have syndrome. I look like a linebacker. *snort....
I wouldn't change a thing either.

I have been seriously thinking of dying my hair dark brown. Kind of this color...
(random internet picture)

But every time I find myself in front of the dye section at the store I get a mental picture of this.....

and I wonder if it is just my mental self trying to become something else to hide from everything that has been happening lately. Dark brown is my natural color though. The honey HATES my natural color. He prefers the color I am right now. But I need change.

I also need a damn hair cut. Except the lady who does my hair and has done my hair for the past 15+ years is up by my grandmothers. I have been really really tempted to go to one of those supercut places. But I am kind of scared I will end up looking really strange because in my head those cheap places are where the people who don't know how to cut hair go. I don't want to look like this.....


And to be honest I really don't feel like hopping in that stupid car of mine and playing the whole starting roulette.

Anywhoooooooooo....

I will let you all (who ever reads this!) know what I choose to do and if I choose to do it lol.

Dear Car,

You suck.

Stupid time for the damn car to really decide that it doesn't want to work right. We have narrowed it down to what we think is an electrical problem.
See it is like this.

Gather up belongings.... hop in the car, turn key.... nothing. Jump car and the car works fine.

Next time... hop in car, turn key, drive to where I need to go, drive to next place, hop in car and nothing. Jump car.

The honey purchased me a jumping thing so I don't need another car in order to jump myself. That is totally sweet. And VERY useful so far.

However, it has created a form of mental problem for me. For example...
Gee I think I want a starbucks. I have a gift card. Wait... do I really want to get into the car and either have to jump it now or at Starbucks or at both... nope.
So I don't go.

Or I walk to what ever I need to do if it is close enough. And no starbucks isn't close enough. In fact I have this massive craving for a yummy coffee drink. But in my mind it is just not worth it.

For some reason this on top of all the other bullshit is making me feel trapped.

Yesterday I had to drop off pants for the honey at his work. He forgot he had a doctors appointment and he gets filthy at work. So I hop in the car.. vrooommmmmm everything is fine. Drop the pants off and nothing. The damn car doesn't start.
I sat there for a full three minutes just staring out the windshield kind of in a mental daze. Jumped the car and came home.

And then I lost it.

I sat down in front of the computer and just lost it. The car not starting was just one straw to many that day I guess. The whole no job, stimulus worry and the car just was to much for me. I had a full blown fit.
And no I didn't feel better afterwards. Well a little but then the honey called and asked me what was wrong with me. I told him I was stressed. He laughed and asked me what I had to be stressed about.
Instant tension refill if you know what I mean.

I am ready for a break. Lucky for me my buddy Sazy and I are going to do something on Saturday. Either bowling or a museum or something. What ever we do I know I will come home feeling much better. She has that effect on me.

Feeling all gloom and doom

I have got to snap out of this. Seriously. I am getting frustrated. When job postings say stuff like this....Office Asst - Trilingual Mandarin, Cantonese &Vietnamese....it just blows my mind. I know that employers can be picky right now but trilingual! Seriously? How many of us are trilingual. UGH

Anywhoooo... I applied for more jobs today. Like normal. I played with facebook. I posted on my Lost board. I reached the end of the internet and I am bored to freaking death.

So I have options.... clean the house, look for work, cook, do laundry or read on the internet. Isn't my life so damn exciting?

Although I have to admit I am looking forward to American Idol starting tonight.

Ok my mind just went completely blank here. I have nothing lol.
Talk to you tomorrow.

Excuse me while I spew some frustrations

As many of you know I have been unemployed since the end of last July. That is almost 6 months. Six months of looking for work almost every day. Six months of applying to job after job after job. Sometimes one job a day up to six or seven in a day. During that time I have had one interview and received one sorry the job was filled response. Let's do a little pretend math and see how many it would be if I had just applied to one job per day. That would be 180 resumes sent out. And I know that I applied for more then that.
I am beginning to freak out a bit here. Looking for work is like working to find work.
My unemployment check has a dollar amount that you get to pull off of. It is the amount you made in the last quarter. So let's say you made $5 in the last quarter and your unemployment is a dollar. Every time you get a new check the dollar amount listed goes down the amount of your check. So the first week it would show that you had $4 left, the next check would show you had $3 left and so on. Well.... I have enough money left over for one more check and then less then half the next check. I am beginning to lose sleep over this. Seriously.
Everyone keeps telling me that I will get a federal extension. Well sorry but until someone official like the unemployment office tells me that I get one I have to go with the reality that my unemployment is about to run out in less then three weeks. RUN OUT!
That means no money what so ever coming in. Ummm I have bills.
This is honestly scaring the crap out of me. What in the hell will I do if it does run out. (picks up phone to call right now while typing)
Ok so far in just looking at the site for unemployment I think I am screwed. It looks like the last date to file for an extension was December 2009. But I will make the call.
Wow I just got one hell of a headache.
UGH they can't answer the question. They say I have to wait until the last payment to see if I get a extension form or get a denial form.
Anywhoooo...... needless to say I am worried as hell that I will not be having any money coming in.
Hopefully I will be getting a tax refund lol.

Back to the whole applying thing. I am getting frustrated in the sheer volume of resumes I am sending out and not hearing a damn thing. I know California has the highest unemployment rate in the country. I know that almost daily I read about another company here that is laying off hundreds or thousands of employees but I am still frustrated with my efforts. I understand that every job probably gets over a hundred applicants but that doesn't help my situation. It doesn't stop me from feeling inadequate. It doesn't stop me from just feeling like plain old shit.

I am lucky in some regards though. I live in a house with someone who can help if things get bad. I am not going to lose my home. Or lose my paid for car. (which of course is having I want to be broken fits right now). I am not going to starve.

The thing is even if my benefits run out and I have to lean on the honey for help. I honestly don't want to. I don't want to be in his debt even if that is only in my own mind. It makes me feel like the poor orphan who can't take care of herself. I want to take care of myself. I want to be self sufficient. But how in the hell can I do that if I can't find a DAMN JOB!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sorry about the gloom and doom today but man I am losing sleep and tensing something bad lately.

Two earthquakes in two days.

I live in California. I am sort of used to earthquakes. In fact they can almost be a bit fun if they are smaller.
However, yesterday we had an earthquake. Not a big deal. We tend to get them once in a while.
But today... today we had another earthquake.
This is NOT NORMAL. I have lived here my entire life and I do not ever remember having two earthquakes in two days. Trust me it is something you wouldn't forget.

Last night I watched the news about yesterdays quake location and how the scientists were a little worried about where it originated. That it put pressure on a fault line that all ready has to much pressure. Then today we had a second earthquake in the same location.

Now let me try to explain earthquake feel to you. Normally you hear a bit of noise and then the ground sways back and forth like you are on a suspension bridge. Or imagine you are sitting on a swingset and just barely push your feet. Not enough to swing but just enough to set you to motion. That is a normal earthquake.
Both of these earthquakes were a little different. Instead of the side to side motion both of these were one quick jerk to the south.
Like something slipped and then caught really fast.
Yesterdays sounded like a truck hit the house and then the jolt. Then a very very slight side to side that lasted probably 3 seconds.
Todays was just a jolt straight to the south again and then nothing. Very weird.

See we in California grow up knowing that the "big one" is coming at some point. It is not a matter of if it is when. Having two earthquakes in two days actually made my stomach hurt.
Made me start to wonder if the earth was getting ready for that big shake. And the fact that both were so strange.... makes me more nervous.

So I just have to remember there is nothing I can do so I might as well not worry right?

HA!

You know I love Hockey

I do! There is something so exciting about walking into an arena that is bursting with energy. There is a natural high that you get. I went last Saturday and got a surprising offer to go again tonight. I can't wait. I feel lucky that my city has it's own hockey team.

The honey has decided that we are both on diets. I am not sure when it became his choice as to when I should lose weight. But he does need to lose a bit so I will go along with it for a while I suppose. But I am not calling it a diet. Blick.

I sent out a few resumes today and yesterday I actually got my first response back from someone. It was this position has been filled but still it made me feel like hey people are actually getting my resumes. lol.

I have things to do but I hadn't blogged yesterday and wanted to at least blog a bit today so here it is. I look forward to sitting and writing tomorrow. But now I have to get ready for a hockey game. WHOOO HOOO

Now can I start over please?

What was it about 2009 that made it suck so damn bad? No really. 2009 was a horrible horrible year for me.

I lost my uncle to lung cancer. This was freaking rough for me. He was more like a father figure then a uncle. I lived with him for years and years through out my life. Losing him was like losing a father.

I lost my job. I loved that stupid job. Really and truly loved my job. How many people can say that? I never had that morning thought of calling in sick in three years. I looked forward to what I was going to do or learn. Losing the job they had bribed me to stay at when we decided we were going to move 2 years ago sucked.

Two other people in my neighborhood died. (not counting my uncle) They both lived within a few houses of me. One lived directly across the street and had three children and a husband she left behind. So freaking sad.

I lost another family member also. My aunt Barbara passed away.

(All family members are called Aunt and Uncle by the way for some reason)

My aunt Becky has to have surgery right before Christmas. In a three week period she gained 17 pounds. She had a large mass in her abdomen that was growing like mad. She lost one ovary and they removed a whole hell of a lot of cyst. At least it wasn't cancer but everyone was so freaking worried.
My aunt Becky and uncle Mike are also fighting to not go into for closure. It doesn't look good for them though.

A few days after Christmas my Aunt Shirley was in a horrible car accident. She shattered her ankle, wrist (almost removing it), pelvic bone and cracked several ribs. She also got a laceration down the side of her face that required a lot of stitches and bumps and bruises all over her body. She just got out of ICU yesterday.

My grandmother has some changes going on. She is so much slower then before. She is a little forgetful. She needs to take naps regularly. All things that didn't exist before. I hope it is just age.

So yes, 2009 sucked.

2010 will be better. It has to be.

I have high hopes that I will find a job soon. Oh please let me find a job soon.

Maybe my family can heal. Maybe things will turn out all right for Mike and Becky. Maybe Shirley's recovery will be quick and easy. Maybe just maybe like will be good this year.




And in regards to something I said the other day on a blog about not blogging when the honey was home. I haven't hidden this from him. I specifically told him about this blog when I started it. He didn't show much interest so I haven't talked about it since. So that is why I consider this mine.



Tonight I go to a hockey game!! GO SHARKS!!!!!

Talk to you all soon :)

Oh and one more thing.... a comment made by my buddy Kevin cracked me up. Sorry Kevin... not a gay man. But isn't this pretty......