As many of you know I have been unemployed since the end of last July. That is almost 6 months. Six months of looking for work almost every day. Six months of applying to job after job after job. Sometimes one job a day up to six or seven in a day. During that time I have had one interview and received one sorry the job was filled response. Let's do a little pretend math and see how many it would be if I had just applied to one job per day. That would be 180 resumes sent out. And I know that I applied for more then that.
I am beginning to freak out a bit here. Looking for work is like working to find work.
My unemployment check has a dollar amount that you get to pull off of. It is the amount you made in the last quarter. So let's say you made $5 in the last quarter and your unemployment is a dollar. Every time you get a new check the dollar amount listed goes down the amount of your check. So the first week it would show that you had $4 left, the next check would show you had $3 left and so on. Well.... I have enough money left over for one more check and then less then half the next check. I am beginning to lose sleep over this. Seriously.
Everyone keeps telling me that I will get a federal extension. Well sorry but until someone official like the unemployment office tells me that I get one I have to go with the reality that my unemployment is about to run out in less then three weeks. RUN OUT!
That means no money what so ever coming in. Ummm I have bills.
This is honestly scaring the crap out of me. What in the hell will I do if it does run out. (picks up phone to call right now while typing)
Ok so far in just looking at the site for unemployment I think I am screwed. It looks like the last date to file for an extension was December 2009. But I will make the call.
Wow I just got one hell of a headache.
UGH they can't answer the question. They say I have to wait until the last payment to see if I get a extension form or get a denial form.
Anywhoooo...... needless to say I am worried as hell that I will not be having any money coming in.
Hopefully I will be getting a tax refund lol.
Back to the whole applying thing. I am getting frustrated in the sheer volume of resumes I am sending out and not hearing a damn thing. I know California has the highest unemployment rate in the country. I know that almost daily I read about another company here that is laying off hundreds or thousands of employees but I am still frustrated with my efforts. I understand that every job probably gets over a hundred applicants but that doesn't help my situation. It doesn't stop me from feeling inadequate. It doesn't stop me from just feeling like plain old shit.
I am lucky in some regards though. I live in a house with someone who can help if things get bad. I am not going to lose my home. Or lose my paid for car. (which of course is having I want to be broken fits right now). I am not going to starve.
The thing is even if my benefits run out and I have to lean on the honey for help. I honestly don't want to. I don't want to be in his debt even if that is only in my own mind. It makes me feel like the poor orphan who can't take care of herself. I want to take care of myself. I want to be self sufficient. But how in the hell can I do that if I can't find a DAMN JOB!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Sorry about the gloom and doom today but man I am losing sleep and tensing something bad lately.