Monday, September 21, 2009

BARK!, Hockey!, Damn Underwire, Museum and Grandma

Doesn't my title make total sense? See I have lots to tell you about my weekend but none of them really fit together.

*warning graphic ahead lol*

Shall we start with Bark? My stupid drunk low class neighbors went on vacation.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahem...

To me this means no yelling in the backyard every night. No music played so loud you can't have a conversation with someone if you are sitting together in the backyard. This means no neighbors calling each other bitch and whore and cocksucker at the top of their lungs. This means no next door neighbor wife yelling at her husband to stop trying to take her clothes off or put it in her ass.

Seriously people I live next door to this and it happens daily. So when they go on vacation the honey and I do this dance of joy all over the house.

Anyway they left 3 days ago. After our dance of joy and our let's sit in the backyard and enjoy the quiet first night, we went off to bed.
They left their damn dog home. We had noticed the back door was wide open and had commented on that but we didn't realize it was because they didn't take the dog with them. The dog that was now barking its brains out. The dog that was not shutting up. ALL NIGHT LONG.

Yelling at it didn't stop it. Nothing would shut it up. Nothing! So I found myself walking around the house at 2:45 am unable to sleep.
The next day I was wiped out and I had a hockey game to go too. YAY HOCKEY!!

See how the title of my post is flowing along here?

Sazy and I hopped in the car the next day to head off to see the Sharks play hockey. We had a little time so we decided to go to the San Jose Museum of Contempory Art.
Well... we have decided we do not like contemporary art. Wanna see why?
Welcome to Broccoli on the wall

Or giant pile of crap made out of balloons (although we did like the moon painting)

or.. WTF is this chirping thing

Or how about a bunch of cones hung up by fishing wire supposed to be a ice flow

It was around this time that the underwire of my bra popped out of its little holder.

At first it was just annoying. I kept pushing it back and pushing it back.
We walked into a textile museum where they wanted us to pay $6 to see fabric stuck on a wall. We walked out without seeing the exhibit.
Poke poke, push push.
Down the street was the San Jose Museum of Art. They had put in a new exhibit. Ansel Adams the early years so we decided what the heck. We have a bit of time before the hockey game. And in we went.
I have to admit I was a little under enthused about the Ansel Adams exhibit. I found it a tad boring.
But in the other side of the museum we did see this....

Yup that is right GIANT animal cookies! Yup... made perfect sense right?

Poke poke, push push.

We had just enough time to eat before the game so we had some YUMMY sushi. It was after this that we grabbed a cup of coffee for the walk to the arena. And I noticed the coffee shop had a bathroom.
Underwire you are toast.
So I walk into the bathroom and I twist and turn and stretch myself in 70 different directions trying to get the underwire to go back in it's spot. I finally give up and go back out and meet Sazy. By this time I am sweating. She asks me if I tried to just take it out.
I looked at her.

Turned right around and walked back into the bathroom to take the damn thing out. Only it wouldn't come out. No matter how much I pulled it wouldn't come out. So I did what any normal woman in my problem would do. I pulled my shirt up to my neck. Ripped the damn bra off and started pounding the underwire against the wall to make it come out.
Around this time a damn horse came in the womans bathroom. You know what I mean people. One of those people who can't pick up their feet and it sounds like a whole herd of them are coming in.
So I stood there in the stall with my shirt around my neck and my bra in my hand wondering why the hell the damn thing wouldn't just slide out like every other bra that broke like this had done. After clomping woman left I gave up. I put the stupid bra back on and walked out at which point I realized I had never gone to the bathroom so I had to make a third trip back in.
So I felt as stupid as this guy must be....

I am blaming it on lack of sleep due to the damn barking dog!
We finally left the coffee shop with me a little sweaty and went to the hockey game.
Sharky came up behind us and gave the woman in the seat behind us some presents. Then proceeded to shower us with foam packing material. We honestly had a great time at that game and the shark's won!

By this time the damn underwire had poked me raw by the way and was sticking up about 4 inches.
When the game was over we walked into the bathroom where I reached over to push the underwire down and the stupid thing came out. Like butter. Like I hadn't worked on it with all my might earlier. Like nothing. Just out. UGH!
We headed for home with me no longer in pain. AWWWWWWWWWWWWW

So anyway this Tuesday I head up to go get my grandmother for a visit. I won't be back until Thursday so don't get worried if you don't see me post until then ok.

Oh and that damn dog... She has barked for the last three nights non stop. UGH


  1. Oh, I love the giant animal cookies!!

  2. Poor dog is all alone :( I would bark too!

    I had a bra do that just the other day. Only I can't take the wire out because if I do then I will have one boob on my belly and one perky up in the wire. LOL

  3. LMAO at the damn horse in the bathroom.

  4. I read your whole post and yet... I'm speachless because of the guy with the mostly shaved head...